Wednesday, August 31, 2005

On Hold

I'm currently on hold with Dominion Virginia Power, and their curious blend of Lawrence Welk and... um... muzak? samba? has me questioning my very sanity.

Pickup, pickup, pickup, pickup, pickup, pickup, pickup...


Things are a bit heavy around here today. I think that between hurricane news, the dreary weather outside, the fact that the lights seem to be a bit dim around here, and a few other random things... I'd just as soon be in bed right now. I suppose I should consider myself lucky to have a bed, given everything that's going on in Louisiana and the rest of the Southern coast.


Phils continue their slide, as predicted. They are just like clockwork, if clockwork had one of the world's worst management groups behind it.


What would pick me up?

I shouldn't write when I'm down... bad enough that I'm a bit depressed, but it gets into your head, as well.

So... let's cure that, shall we?


MUCH better.


Oh, Yeah!!!

Tuesday, August 30, 2005

Thank You, Dr. Z

If we'd gotten the SI cover, I don't know what I would have done.

Carolina? Really?

You Have GOT To Be Kidding Me


Remember the football game we went to last year? Remember how the Bills looked even worse live than they did on the television? Remember how Deion Sanders returned a goddamned interception for a touchdown, and I felt like committing hari kari right there in the nosebleeds?

Well, hit the link below, fill in a fake birthday (say, January 1, 1980), and look what comes up. Now you get to relive the horror all over again.

I saw this on TV last night and fell out of my chair.

The Only Thing Worse Than Deion... the King

Monday, August 29, 2005


here's some of the best new music you haven't heard-- yeah, i said it:

hard-fi - cash machine
the shortwave set - is it any wonder
grandaddy - pull the curtains
wolf parade - i'll believe in anything
saturday looks good to me - the girl's distracted
broken social scene - 7/4 (shoreline)
sigur ros - hoppipola
annie - the wedding
missy elliott w/ m.i.a. - bad man
andrew bird - a nervous tic motion of the head to the left

Best of Luck

Nice knowing you, Corey. Thanks for giving us some great years.

In Case You Missed It

A play-by-play of last night's MTV Awards. Not as funny as Simmons (not as funny as R. Kelly, for that matter), but hey... what really is?

Chock Full O' All the Artists We Love

Saw a picture of Eva this morning, by the way. Worth searching for, gentlemen.

Sunday, August 28, 2005

Short Cuts

Good luck with your first day of classes, Ilise.


Thanks to Andy and Laura for hosting a great open house yesterday. No thanks to Verizon Broadband, or whatever it was that kicked us offline as we were about to make the first & second round picks in Andy's fantasy football draft.

Sure, we (Andy) got McNabb and Moss... but neither of them play RB. Bad start, but I think we wound up acquitting ourselves nicely.

Fingers crossed.


Should I go see the Wrens next week? They play the Black Cat on the 9th.


With all that's going on, I've been watching less news than I typically do. And... I had no idea of the severity of Katrina.

Thoughts and prayers to New Orleans. If you've been there... you know things are gonna be really tough.


This is what happens when you post with music playing. Obviously, I'm saying some shit-stupid things, here. Ah, well.


Phillies have started their perennial end-of-season, sorry-to-get-your-hopes-up slide. The end of the wild card chase... CATCH IT!!!


Looking forward to my Dominican friend's return this weekend. Shame he'll miss Doug's party... but then, maybe I will, too.



Saturday, August 27, 2005

5 Passes, 131 Yards

Was not the best thing about last night's Eagles game. Sure, the opening catch and run looked great, reminiscent of one-play drives that have opened games in years before... and both guys looked sharp all-around, as best as I could tell.

But I was most impressed with T.O. on the (just as impressive) Reggie Brown touchdown. If you look carefully, immediately after Brown gets into the end zone, Owens runs by and crosses over the cone, pumping his fist.

And for several reasons, THAT is a great sign-- probably a better sign than any statistics he could have put up.


Had a great time at the ballpark last night, so thanks again go to Lexie and Jeff. It was very nice to meet Lexie's brother Michael, as well, and to be able to share such a nice evening out. The weather was absolutely perfect for a ballgame, and the play was almost as exciting as the free visor we all got.

Best of all, though-- it's always good to revive the Diceman. All the talk of window treatments and nursery rhymes and Club Soda Kenny... I think I was getting dizzy at one point.

That's good stuff.


As the list of guy movies rolls on (The Dirty Dozen, Layer Cake in days and weeks before)... a strong contender from out of nowhere comes in The Boondock Saints. Not too many people (my age) have seen or even heard of this one, but wow-- very highly recommended. Lots of violence, lots of cursing, a quick flash of nudity (always welcomed)... never boring. Willem Defoe and Billy Connolly are the closest thing it's got to names, but... just pretty damned great all-around.

Which made me realize something that has tied a lot of these recent guy movies together.

In each, women are in MAYBE one or two scenes at most. And when they are... they're typically undressed... or about to be.

Enter the Dragon and The Kid Stays in the Picture are next, I believe. One might have considerably more kung fu than the other, though the other will likely compensate with what Bill Hicks called a "heroic dose" (or 100) of cocaine.

Once again-- good stuff.

Friday, August 26, 2005

This is Just a Test...

... to see who's reading this thing.

Patton Oswalt

Speaking of genius... I recently got Patton Oswalt's album off of iTunes. The whole thing is great, of course, but when he does a huge (and phenomenally obscene) bit on Robert Evans doing ESPN ads, and then follows that up with a routine on Tom Carvel and his "Fudgie the Whale" Carvel ice cream cakes towards the end... those of you who know me well will know...

... it's like worlds colliding. In the best possible way.

Not that Carvel is my life.

I'm just saying.


Did he just say "Paddy O'Cripply"?

"Klaus Kinski"?

"I wield the wand of Odin!!!"?


Easily one of the best comics since Hicks. Like David Cross, but without the sledgehammer-subtle politics.

Thursday, August 25, 2005

This Movie Owns You

If you haven't already done so, see it.

Best of the Day

1. The thought of seeing Nittany Lions football with Andy.
2. Finally hearing from Darren.
3. Getting complimented on my seemingly bottomless marketing write-ups.
4. A tie between "Go Your Own Way" (see below) and Paul Anka's cover of the Cure's "The Love Cats," and no, I am not kidding. I love both of these, particularly Anka.
5. Learning that Ricky Gervais will be in the next Christopher Guest movie.

Unspeakable greatnesss, courtesy of AICN/BBC:

"Comic star Ricky Gervais is to play a studio boss in a Hollywood film about the movie awards season, called For Your Consideration.

Gervais, who co-wrote and starred in TV comedies The Office and Extras, will play a man convinced his awful film is going to bag an honour.

Written and directed by Spinal Tap star Christopher Guest, the film will also feature American Pie's Eugene Levy.

Filming is due to get under way in October, Gervais' spokesman confirmed.

Internet rumour

The comic's character commissions a film which is known to be dreadful, about the Deep South during the 1940s.

But an internet rumour begins that it is in the running for awards, and the cast are led to believe that glory days are just around the corner.

The action in the new film is expected to be widely improvised."

Wednesday, August 24, 2005

Last Post of this Slow, Slow Day

Top 5 Music Videos You Might Have Missed Over the Years:

Blur - Coffee & TV

Weezer - Keep Fishin'

Junior Senior - Move Your Feet

The Avalanches - Frontier Psychiatrist

Decemberists - 16 Military Wives

and of course:

Fatboy Slim: Weapon of Choice

Not for the Easily Disturbed

I give you...

Ipecac, Courtesy of Family Guy


That was gross. This one isn't. I promise.

Take On Me

Why Does This Make Me Laugh?

Do You Want To?

Saw the new Franz Ferdinand video last night while flipping around the channels (horrible sports night... when is the Little League World Series going to end?), and... did somebody actually intend to put all of 1982 into a blender?

I mean, I'm sure it's designed to be intentionally horrible, and so kudos for finding a way to merge Dexy's Midnight Runners, Men at Work and Wall of Voodoo together... but if by any chance the video was meant to be something loftier... something other than a big fat larf...


Either way, it was still better than seeing a Diddy something-or-other.

Which reminds me, the new Time Magazine with Kanye on the cover... it has a wall chart for America to post in their basements, so that people can finally learn the difference between KRS-One and Grandmaster Flash, or something... well, it includes a blurb on each prominent rapper from the past 25 years or so, describing them for those who don't know.

Time Magazine-- Time Magazine!-- blasts off on Puffy, absolutely killing him for chanting "ghost-written lyrics."

Time is officially the new Boondocks.


In other music news, I actually slipped and fell (accidentally, I tells ye) onto the MTV News website this morning.

Shut up.

Stop laughing at me-- I mean it.

Hey, you're not perfect, either!

Anyway. What was their lead story, by chance?

"When Did Kelly Clarkson Become So Hip?"

That sound you just heard was me, shooting myself in the face.


It doesn't take much effort to re-imagine Pat Robertson's recent hopes and wishes as an al-Qaeda soundbite, huh?

The blue-stater in me wonders "well, who's listening to this jackass, anyway"?

The rest of me knows all too well that, sadly, plenty of people are.


My latest odds for the DNC nod:

Hillary 3:1
Biden 5:1
Edwards 7:1
Kerry 20:1
Richardson 25:1
W. Clark 25:1
M. Warner 30:1

Tuesday, August 23, 2005

Attention, Michelle

Please Move to Another State. For the Love of God.

S.T. George

Flies kites. Defeats Rubbermaids. Wins hearts. Slays dragons. Resides in Ithaca, NY.

This is a great book. Sort of a go-to for me when things go sideways. Some of you already know this. Anyway, if you've never read it... get to Borders, stat.


Having a good day, even if it's been incredibly busy. But for me... busy=ratings. Or something like that.

Nice surprise seeing Laura and Pey today... looking forward to seeing them again at this weekend's open house.

I'd invite you... but I don't know that I have that power.


mostly covers at the moment:

saturday looks good to me - meet me by the water
decemberists/death cab for cutie - go your own way (live fleetwood mac cover)
my morning jacket - tyrone (erykah badu cover)
amusement parks on fire - smokescreen
the decemberists - the sickbed of cuchulainn (pogues cover)

Monday, August 22, 2005

Not Quite Chutzpah. Not Quite.

I came home from this weekend to see two DVDs sitting out... not from Blockbuster or Netflix, so they were borrowed. Anyway. One was Harold & Kumar, which was funny, ha ha, yeah.

The other was this:


And if you don't know what it's about, it's about this:

Oh, yeah.

So... what thoughts were going through her head?

Because once again, I'm at a loss.

Don't Get Too Excited, Now...

I'm sure the Republicans will find a problem with this, anyway.

From CNN:

WASHINGTON (AP) -- Harvard scientists announced they've discovered a way to fuse adult skin cells with embryonic stem cells, a promising breakthrough that could lead to the creation of useful stem cells without first having to create and destroy human embryos.

Look Ma! Good News!

The Wonder Years

Had a great weekend... lots of fun seeing Ilise and Paul and all their friends, and then Steph yesterday afternoon (too short by half, though).

But one thing that keeps coming up... that picture to the right? That's not me. That's my doppleganger (!) Fred Savage. More than one of you have told me it was a particularly good picture of me.

Maybe that's not a compliment, then. ;)

Friday, August 19, 2005


Favorite item: "Is it just me or does "Pope Benedict" sound like somebody who would be the third receiver on Florida State or something?"

Now tell me yours.

Return to Bill Simmons' World

And Life Changes, Yet Again

So happy.

So very happy.


The Phillies... Have Problems

Random, Useless, Great

Make sure you check out the lyrics, the press release... there's all sorts of special weirdness afoot. Hooray for the Unicorns for putting this together (or whatever the hell name they're going by these days).

Indie Bands Mock "Do They Know It's Christmas?"

Day 30

Today marks one month since I got my new contacts. For the first time ever, I've been able to wear this pair 24/7, day and night, the whole shebang. It's been great.

Trouble is, the eye doc recommended that on every 30th day, before I change into the next pair, I should take the old ones out and give my eyes a day of rest.

Which means one thing. My arch-nemesis.

No, not fellow Camp Harlam alum Seth Geshel Green.


You'll be happy to know that I look somewhere between Dogbert and the subject of a New Yorker cartoon.

Looking in the mirror... right now... yeah, I'd punch me.

Thursday, August 18, 2005

Sick of Saying "I'm Sorry"

Ahoy, hoy.

Whatever you do, don't read the lyrics to the Wrens' "The Meadowlands"... just don't. And really, especially, don't even look at the lyrics to "Happy" and "Hopeless."

Again... don't.

I don't want you to know exactly how I've been feeling.


Very busy couple of days. I think it's time for some drinks, to say the least. It'll be good to see Jay again tonight, and doubly (sp?) good to have a full weekend planned.

I don't know whether I'll be incredibly, sort of, or not-at-all social... but let's give it a whirl, huh?

Let's shake that Jewish ass!



And would everyone stop asking me why I'm still wearing the ring?

I've told you, I don't know why, I don't know what the rules are about these things. Would someone look up the USC provision for me?

Arrggh. The things running through my head.

Or not. Past few days have been somewhat of a zombie-state. On one hand, I can't believe it's been less than three weeks. On the other, I can't believe it's gone by so quickly. Time is a bit rubbery right now. I really don't have my bearings.

Help me. Give me a ring, drop me a line, why don't you?



Thanks again.

Tuesday, August 16, 2005

Here, Too

Someday, I'll get here. Or Italy, maybe... Italy would be nice.

Where My Mind Is, Right Now

Who Am I? Why Am I Here???

Probably shouldn't do this, but:

Comedy Gold


Not a music post, for once. Well, not really.

I was just thinking that there's gotta be a name for that feeling you get when you check your favorite blogs, mp3 or otherwise, only to find that they have not been updated.

Let's call it, oh, the "e-letdown"? A case of "lonely blog"? Something along the lines of needing more friends?

Anyways, it stinks. Not badly, not sulfur badly, but I like fresh content every morning, since blogs interest me more than the Washington Post does, nowadays.

Which is probably a sad thing... and yet, not quite.


I rated a mention in the newest Sussex alumni magazine. I got a whopping sentence-- and no mention of Jaffe Associates. Which doesn't exactly set off my "thrilled-o-meter," but I did hear from Sam Gurney, as a result. Which was a nice thing.

Though I think he was merely using me to get to Jill.

That bitch. ;)


I'm happier now. Days are tough, sure, but I'm realizing I'm far less bitter and cynical than I'd grown (been grown?) to be in recent days/months/years. When I'm around chatty people nowadays, or screaming kids... I've come to realize that they don't bother me. Not nearly as much as they had in recent days/months/years.

Which bodes well for the future.

I wonder why I'd grown to be so much more negative during that time period?


The Eagles looked so bad in the first 10 minutes of last night's game that I almost forgot it was merely the first preseason game, and therefore nothing to worry about whatsoever.

But I'll be damned if I couldn't hear T.O. laughing, somewhere, as the Eagles feel behind 14-0 early on. This, despite the fact that the announcers seemed to be legitimately impressed (as the game went on) with the Eagles' remaining receiving corps. It was good to hear, I suppose.

Somehow, I think T.O. probably stopped watching early on.

I don't think he even makes it on the practice field this Wednesday. I'd love to be wrong, but I trust Jaws' opinion.


I had so many things to say when I woke up this morning, and now that I'm here... squattisimmo. Ah, well. I'll just have to get to work.

Ta for now.

Saturday, August 13, 2005

Party Shuffling

Love iTunes' Party Shuffle feature... very, very useful when you have an outsized collection, and need to get reacquainted with the oldies.

Some lost classics I hadn't heard in awhile, then:

replacements - talent show (always)
shins - strange powers (magnetic fields cover)
trashcan sinatras - send for henny
peter murphy - cuts you up
pulp - david's last summer
phish - gold soundz
doves - catch the sun
talking heads - what a day that was (live)
fIREHOSE - for the singer of R.E.M.
underworld - jumbo

Thursday, August 11, 2005

On a Lighter Note

New Sports Guy mailbag today. He doesn't do enough of these for my taste.

Mailbag! Mailbag! Mailbag!


Enough with T.O. I know the story just broke yesterday, but I'm already sick to death of it. The Iggles will pull through without him... and, if not, there's always hockey. Or World Cup 2006 to look forward to.

Oh, who the hell am I kidding?

Eagles management should follow John Clayton's advice (in his ESPN column this morning) and assure him he's free to go at season's end. Or at least make an under-the-table deal. We need the son-of-a-bitch if we're going to go deep again this year.


This Boy is Exhausted.

Thanks, Broseph

Amazing that I have a reader. If this blog wasn't a worthwhile read before, well, now I'll just have to go and make it into a shining star.


Didn't get much sleep last night. Tried to crash at 8:30 or so, given that I was all but immobile from the 'roids (please don't laugh... that shit is awful)... but the discomfort only assured me of a worse night's sleep than usual. I must have woken up ten separate times throughout the night.

Thankfully, she was OK to talk to this morning, if only for a few minutes before she left for work. Maybe it was the Mort Goldman/Jerky Boys refrain of "oh, the pain, it's simply awwwwwfuuull" that made her laugh.

It's OK to laugh. She needs to laugh right now. She needs an outlet, any outlet.


I have a friend who lost her cat this week, who has just been a mess (and understandably so). She called me yesterday from a chicken farm, and I could barely hear her through all the clucks. How sad is it that what she's going through seems somehow worse than all this? I've got to get my empathy sensors fixed.

Or not.


wrens - happy (good lord)
sigur ros - hoppipolla
rilo kiley - i never
olivia tremor control - hideway
flaming lips - bohemian rhapsody

Wednesday, August 10, 2005

Current Symptoms

- Constant nausea

- Dry mouth

- Loss of appetite

- Gastrointestinal distress (ahem)

- Hemorrhoids

- Absolute confidence and conviction

Tuesday, August 09, 2005

If You Go Looking

for a "Testament to Youth in Verse"... well, you won't find that blog here, anymore.

The times, they are a-changin'.

New start, new start, new start.

Things the Grandchildren Should Know

Life can beat the holy hell out of you sometimes... but the cream will always rise to the top. It's gonna be OK.

It's gonna be OK.

This is because of my friends and family. My friends and my family are everything to me. I only pray that I am able to give to them what they have given to me this past month.