Tuesday, January 31, 2006

Chain Links

You'll hear a Naval officer (presumably) shout out a curse word, but... This is funny.


That was funny.

This is pathetic.


That was pathetic.

This is frightening.


NME is reporting that this is the line-up for Coachella. And apart from a pretty sweet 1-2-3 punch on Saturday night (Day 1)... I don't know that I'd travel hundreds of miles for it. None of these acts, apart from Sigur Ros, are really inspiring me to auction off body parts for tickets.


Assuming I did go... here's who I'd check out, amongst others.

Day 1:
Depeche Mode
Franz Ferdinand
Sigur Ros
Damien Marley
Carl Cox
My Morning Jacket
Clap Your Hands Say Yeah!
Cat Power
Animal Collective
Devendra Banhart
She Wants Revenge
The Walkmen
The Juan Maclean
Audio Bullys
Lady Sovereign
The Duke Spirit
Lyrics Born
The Zutons
White Rose Movement
Wolf Mother
The Living Things
Nine Black Alps
Youth Group

Day 2:
Yeah Yeah Yeahs
Bloc Party
Paul Oakenfold
Scissor Sisters

James Blunt
TV On The Radio
Sleater Kinney
Gnarls Barkley (Danger Mouse and Cee-Lo)
Digable Planets
Amadou Mariam
Little Louie Vega
Seu Jorge
Wolf Parade
The Go! Team

Imogene Heap
Art Brut
The Dears
Jamie Liddell
The Magic Numbers
Los Amigos Invisibles
Michael Mayer
Mates of State
Gilles Peterson
Gabriel & Dresden
The Subways
Minus the Bear
Be Your Own Pet
Giant Drag

Monday, January 30, 2006

Nothing Much Going On

1) I returned the settlement agreement to my attorney this weekend, and spoke with him about it today.

Though the "D-word" isn't gonna happen quite this quickly... Friday marks the magic "six month" mark, at which point it could.

2) Our two-doors down neighbors and good friends, Dave and Melanie? Their house sold in less than two weeks, as did another townhouse nearby, which had been on the market for a few months.

This is good news for us-- our friends' place was not a direct competitor, but the other one was. Now they're both off the market, and... knock on wood, things appear to be picking up.

3) Along those lines, today saw our third realtor visit in three days. Complete with glowing compliments.


Other than all this... not much happening.

Sunday, January 29, 2006

Cleaning Out My Closet

Always wanting more, you jackals!

Before I begin... let me just announce to my entire audience of seven that...


Jay Govindan?

You are one lucky man. It was wonderful to finally meet yo lady. Fo shiz. So please... unless I frightened her away, which, of course, is a distinct possibility... let's make this more than a once-a-year kind of thing.



Now for something that actually is related, shockingly enough, via the University of Virginia. A link to Chris' wife's younger brother's entirely successful stab at Daily Show-style comedy.

See, little Dan Dooley is a sophomore (I believe) at UVA, and... let's just say that the boy-- Noel's little brother-- has a gift.

Though this video is a wee bit long... trust me. Moreso than most of the other crap I link to on here... 'tis worth it.

After clicking on the link, scroll to 4:25 in the broadcast, and enjoy Dan as he tackles The Vagina Monologues.

You can say "I knew him when"!


More completely straight-faced drama? You demand more, after all that?

Then I give you, from Conan O'Brien, James Lipton's impassioned reading of Keven Federline's tribute to Portuguese asses, "PopoZao."

And if you're glutton for punishment, you can watch K-Fed dancing and enjoying his own track in the studio here. But... don't say I didn't warn you. It's that bad.

That's one hell of an audience reaction, by the way. It's friggin' James Lipton, for God's sake.


How about something to chillax, after all that laughter.

A time-lapsed road trip from LA to New York is just what you need. So, in that spirit, here's four very cool minutes.


And finally, for my big finish, follow this link, select "custom"... and turn this blog-- my words-- into the t-shirt of your dreams.

Just follow the simple instructions, and see what the hell I've been talking about for the past year or so.

Available in small, medium, large, and XXXL, for fatties like me.


Good night, everybody!


I feel like I have so many other things that I need to be doing right now, as opposed to writing.

Oh, well.

This always clears my head, so... just a quickie. What can it hurt?


Hope your weekend has been a fun one. Mine has been pretty good, so far. Yesterday was a strange (but good) combination of:

1) apartment hunting (didn't find much that impressed me),
2) movie watching (The Aristocrats turned out to be pretty disappointing),
3) Colin Meloy-concert attending (always good, of course), and
4) boxing... er... watching (Arturo Gatti is getting old).


If that didn't sound great? I understand. It reads boring. But trust me-- I enjoyed myself.


So, as I was saying, today is supposed to be a Jaffe/work-centered day... but that hasn't happened, yet. Too busy doing other things.

I'll have to work this afternoon, after I get back from lunch with Jay and Jenna.



Are the Wing Bowl contestants... weak?


I've been thinking a little bit about adding more to this site in the way of political talk, sports talk, religious talk... something.


But who wants to hear my sermons? As Jeff said to me last night, after I made a worthless observation in the middle of the Gatti bout-- and I'm paraphrasing, here-- "yeah... cause you're such a fucking genius."

Apart from the obvious anti-Semetic overtones that I sense from Jeff in that instance and all too often, what he was trying to tell me was this: never try to talk boxing with someone who knows more about boxing than you do.

And never argue with a Sicilian. Or something like that. Because if he happens to be tactless... and Jeff is nothing, if not tactless... he'll call you out on it, in front of your friends, scarring you for life.

You big jerk. I never want to talk to you again.


Do I even have to say that I'm kidding?

Do I really need to say it?


Didn't think so.


What was the point I was trying to make, there?

Big shiny dime goes to whoever can tell me. ;)

Friday, January 27, 2006


Harmonium doesn't pay the bills, but it does pay for concert tickets.

Thanks to Jedediah, I'll be seeing the Stars/Magnet show gratis next month at the Black Cat. In return for a review, of course. Either way-- woo hoo!

So who is Magnet? He's a Norwegian surrealist folkie, of course.


From his (Magnet is basically one guy) bio:

"NME has likened Magnet to artists Tim Buckley and Coldplay, and others have placed him in the ranks of such names as Johnny Cash, Elliott Smith, Beck, and the Doves. Indeed, these comparisons have not been made in vain."

Let's hope not. We really like those guys.


I've enjoyed what little Magnet I've heard so far... so I have high hopes, despite the Norway-ity of it all.

But I'm super-excited to see Stars, the recent objects of my iInfatuation. You remember, all those posts about "Your Ex-Lover is Dead"? The endless rambling?

Steph, Stars was the band I played for you at Buttermilk Falls. You really liked them.




Speaking of bands that no one here knows about, but should... Destroyer. This is Dan Bejar's other project (one of 42, for all I know). He's one of the chief poo-bahs in everybody's (top 5) favorite collective, the New Pornographers.


I recently listened to his new album, Destroyer's Rubies, and while it might not be for everyone... it sure should be.

Rubies is genius. And given the fanboys' collective excitement... it might have the staying power to make 2006 year-end lists.

We'll see. But it really is worth seeking out. If you need help with all the big words (and there are many), you can go here.


Final pre-weekend note.

You can scream all you want, Apple nerds. This man is as close to God as we simple humans get.


The Weekend's Here, Have a Can of Beer


Hope the day goes fast for everyone.


Me? I might do some apartment searching this weekend... and on Saturday night, the Colin Meloy show at the Birchmere. Should be great.

But apart from that, the weekend is wide-open.

I take requests.


The past couple of days have been kinda slow. Seems my parents are the ones having all the fun, this week, as they wrap up their tour of Arizona.

Good for them. Even if Dad did erroneously type that he shot a "61" instead of what he meant to say-- a "91." :P


No one is talking about this (maybe because no one in the US knows who in the hell Pete Doherty is)... but Kate Moss' drug sherpa and sometime-rock star achieved an impressive feat the other day.

Wow. Good show, my friend.


And this one goes out to Mike and Steph, in particular: Happy Trogday!

Wednesday, January 25, 2006

A Few Links, pre-JLNS

I'm in a holding pattern for a few minutes, so I figured I'd show you a couple of things in the interim...


Old joke, still funny.


Woke up to this news earlier this morning (thanks anyway, Jay!)... promises to be frickin' sweet.

Not as sweet as sideboob, but sweet nevertheless.


The site that hosts this link may be slightly ribald (!), so be careful when you open it... but here is a repository of every "Celebrity Jeopardy" SNL has ever had.


Finally, this very short clip (Real), which takes me back to what is was like watching CBS in 1982.

Not Going to Coachella, After All

Bastards have changed the lineup.


On a different note, why does this this crack me up, every time?


Harmonium is doing well enough (about 150 unique visitors a day check the site, on average-- thanks for asking) that:

(a) our editor-in-chief actually has plans for months from now (goodness!); and
(b) we were offered free tix for a review of a Sigur Ros show. This is easily the biggest artist we've snagged yet, so... that's a good sign.


(a) Sigur Ros won't be coming back to DC for this leg of the tour; and
(b) The free ticket(s) were snapped up almost immediately by another staff member.

Which makes Ryan a bastard.


My massage last night was splendiferous.

180 degrees removed from my last one, though. While the first gal (!) was slow and easygoing, with more of an emphasis on relaxation and... um... not much of anything terribly noteworthy, however nice it felt?

Last night's lady (Crystal) worked the shit out of my back. She really applied a lot of pressure, and (this was obvious) knew what she was doing as she worked. I'm definitely feeling a bit looser this morning... which is clearly a good thing.

She deemed me a "6 or 7" on the tension scale, as compared to her other patients... so take that for what you will. What I took from it was that I was in a bit of almost-pain at times, from the way she was working my muscles... but it was good.

Not in that way, sicko.

If I'm feeling OK in the next few days, I'll probably start seeing her on a monthly basis.

So worth it.


That sounded questionable... didn't it. Eh, too bad. It's my life. I welcome your ridicule.

(be kind)

Tuesday, January 24, 2006


No links, no stories to tell, no nothing.

Just logging in.


I'm at about 80% right now... I think the worst of my cold is over. Let's hope.

I couldn't have helped my system any by going to the MCI Center last night for the Caps-Bruins game, but it was well worth it. Crazy yelling guy notwithstanding, I had a good time with Chris, Noel, and their friend whose name I am currently forgetting.

My bad, dawg.

Good time, though there were surprisingly few fireworks. I guess it was a Caps gane, though... so what was I expecting?

That said, Ovechkin is the real deal. Even in a pointless evening, he did some amazing things. Chris and I were just stunned, and as was pointed out last night... I think I have the beginnings of a man-crush.


To answer your question, Jeff-- you missed the Abramoff Rag. That's what you missed.


And you missed out on learnng what Dainus Zubrus' (sp?) favorite vegetables and beverages are.


I have a slightly more relaxing evening on tap for tonight-- I'll be trying out a local massage place. I saw it listed in the sports section of the Washington Post. And though not every character in the advertisement was in Engli-

Wait, what?

No, no, no. The place I'm going to is reputable.

Completely reputable.

At least, I think it is...


See what you got me into, Steph? ;)

Sunday, January 22, 2006

Heading Out, But...

Good Lord, these podcasts are a riot. Let me know if you want the link to all seven... I'll hook you up.

But keep it on the down low, would you please?

Still Fightin' It

No, the cold has not left me just yet.

Give it time. All things must pass. ;)


I'll probably be watching the game(s) today with Teso (and making him sick), but while I'm out... our neighbors will be having their open house.

Now ordinarily, it wouldn't be the best thing-- having signs in front of two houses on the same street. Makes the neighborhood seem undesirable, and all that.

But we just found out that they've listed their house for $40,000 more than our own. And this is not to tell tales out of school, to brag, to number-drop (or to suggest that we under-priced our place)... it's just to note that potential buyers might be a bit overwhelmed by their price, when they see what they can get for less, just two doors away.

Forty thousand dollars is a lot of money, you know?

So, we'll see what happens.

A realtor dropped by yesterday, completely unannounced... so maybe things will start to pick up again. On weekends, anyway.


Lots of links to share today.

First of all... if you're a fan of the Ricky Gervais version of The Office (or of Extras, for that matters), then you absolutely must get to the Ricky Gervais Podcast.


Each episode is about 30 minutes long, with Office co-creator Stephen Merchant and a guy-- a close friend, apparently-- who is absolutely not of this earth.

It must be heard to be believed.

I'll say no more.

Unfortunately, only four eps are available at any given time-- and so all you might be able to track down is nos. 4-7... but well, well worth it.


Since the government wants to track you down, based on your Google searches... why not cut out the middleman, and give them everything directly?


I have no idea why, but this might be the funniest goddamned thing I've ever read.

Well, this week, anyway.

Read as noted academic Rasheed Wallace tussles with IKEA furniture.

Be sure to read this aloud (to yourself) for maximum comedy value.


Not bad. Step one in perfecting the "Mark David Chapman" is to clutch a copy of Catcher, so... check.


Now, some of you may have seen this recently.

But I first saw it in 1991-- in my Psych 101 class. The one I've probably mentioned to you over one thousand times, that had close to 2,000 students in it? The "largest lecture course in the country," yadda, yadda, yadda?


Professor James Maas' specialty (I'm not going there, I'm not going there, I'm not going there) was sleep and sleep disorders.

For some reason, he chose this as an illustration. A video of Rusty, the narcoleptic dog. This is just a quick, 17-second clip of a longer movie... but you'll get the point pretty quickly.

Once he'd showed this to the class, by the way-- if memory serves, there were several dogs, and the clip was at least a minute or two long-- people couldn't breathe. Class didn't get started again, properly, for at least five minutes.


This ia a hell of a thing. Be sure to watch it the whole way through-- it ends differently than it begins.

Witness, the love of Gene Siskel and Roger Ebert, uncensored.


There's some deeper meaning to this story... I just can't figure out what it is.


A quickie-- this one goes out to my sister, and all of the philosophy majors out there who have been touched by the Black Eyed Peas.


Are you tired of the SNL "Lazy Sunday" bit, yet?

You're not?

Well, neither is this team of a 9-year old and a 7-year old. Witness, the cutest thing you've heard today.


And finally, let me take you back even further.

To a time when there weren't any blogs, and iPods, any job or marriage concerns.

There was only this.

G'bye, everybody!

Friday, January 20, 2006

Voting on the Mailbag

Many contenders this week. Choose one from the following:

Q: I just heard they cancelled "Emily's Reasons Why Not" after ONE episode! Please tell me this is Heather Graham's final step toward Cinemax soft-core stardom. This needs to happen!
-- Dave Sund, Portland, Ore.

SG: I think it's inevitable at this point -- she's a terrible actress and it's only a matter of time. She's one bad business investment away from accepting a role in one of those two-word Cinemax movies where the two words don't really make sense like "Indecent Seduction" or "Sensual Restriction."

Q: How great is it to have a John Holmes on the PGA tour this year? I can only imagine the possibilities, like the first time David Feherty mentions that Holmes is "good with the long stick."
-- Kevin, Hanover, Md.

SG: Obviously, he's my favorite non-Boston professional athlete right now. I want to hang out with him for a weekend, follow him around on the course, make some Johnny Wadd jokes, make some long putter jokes, see if he's heckled at all by the gallery ... maybe I could even caddy for him, just so I could casually say things like, "Man, it's grueling carrying John Holmes' bag around" and "Careful, John Holmes, you don't want to use too much club here." And imagine if he ever won the Masters? How would Jim Nantz announce the winning putt with one of those trademark Nantz-like puns? Would he say, "Just like old times, John Holmes has worn out the field?" What about, "Put that thing away, John Holmes, you just won the Masters!" Plus, can you imagine a Masters ceremony with Hootie Johnson, John Holmes and a maniacally grinning Jim Nantz?

(You know what? If that happens, I'm done. I'm retiring. That's the comedy ceiling, right there. Nothing could top Hootie Johnson and Jim Nantz helping John Holmes put on the green Masters jacket. Nothing. I would have to quit my column and find another challenge in life.)

Q: How long has it been since the two best players in college basketball were both white? I find it fascinating that no one in the media is willing to address this.
-- Fletcher Ray, Portland, Ore.

SG: Address it in what sense? That this is hardcore proof that we're headed toward the worst March Madness of all time?

Q: I read that Elton John had a bachelor party. Is this the only bachelor party in history that it would be OK to decline the invitation to? Can you think of anyone's bachelor party that you would want to go to less than Elton John's?
-- Mike Bell, Baltimore

SG: No. I really can't. But you did get me thinking -- the best bachelor party would be the one for Jake Gyllenhaal, just because he'd be so desperate to preserve street cred and shake the "Brokeback Mountain" thing that everyone would end up participating in some mammoth hooker orgy or something. That should be a contest on ESPN.com when he gets engaged: "You and a friend can win a chance to attend Jake Gyllenhaal's bachelor party!"

Q: Is it just me, or is Tyronn Lue the ugliest woman in the NBA?
-- Dave F., Littleton, Mass.

SG: I keep pitching this idea for my friend Jimmy's TV show that I continue to watch, even though he never listens to my ideas anymore -- a game show called "NBA Player or WNBA Player?", in which they pull two people out of the audience, then show them headshots of NBA players and WNBA players and they have to match the player and the league. Wouldn't this be riveting? Either Tyronn Lue, Carmelo Anthony, Danny Fortson or Teresa Weatherspoon would be the picture for the final round every time. You're telling me that anyone would turn the channel during a round of "NBA Player or WNBA Player?" That's it, I'm giving the idea to Craig Ferguson.

Q: I just found out that the girl from "Just One of the Guys" (Joyce Hyser) was born in 1957. 1957! She's almost 50. Am I over-reacting?
-- Mike M, Atlanta

SG: Considering I just spat out a mouthful of coffee, I would say no.

And finally...

Q: I think I was actually more upset over the assassination of former President David Palmer on "24" last night than I would have been if our actual president would have been assassinated. It was like I lost a member of my own family. Maybe I'm just screwed up, but I don't think so. Here is my question: If you forced every registered voter in America to watch seasons 1-4 on DVD, and convinced Dennis Haysbert to legally change his name to David Palmer, don't you think he would win in a landslide in 2008? I have bounced this question off several people and Palmer has every vote so far, and most would have voted for him over Bush and Kerry.
-- Ryan Desmond, Miami

SG: Obviously I'm with you. But while we're here, some readers were upset that I revealed the "24" plot twist in Wednesday's column because they hadn't watched the show yet. So here's my question ... how can you call yourself a "24" fan and not watch the season premiere of "24" right when it airs? Are you kidding me? Would you save the Super Bowl on TiVo and watch it later? What about Game 7 of the NBA Finals? When "24" came on the tube Sunday night, my baby daughter could have had a diaper covered in six pounds of poop and I would have waited until 10 o'clock to change her. I'm not apologizing for this one. You had three days to watch it -- unless you were trapped in a well or something, there's no excuse. That's like saying that I shouldn't have discussed the Bettis Fumble.


Have a good weekend, everybody... hope I made up for this week's lack of posts!

Alvar Hanso

(Michael) Are you O.K.?

Are you alone?
(Michael) Yes.

Can't talk long. They're coming back soon...
(Michael) Where are you?
You need to com-


On that note.

I give you... Dr. Marvin Candle, his prosthetic arm (could it be a clue?) and the Dharma Initiative orientation film.

Do not attempt to use the computer, for anyt-


To Penn Jillette's new radio show. I have a feeling that I might be the last man on earth to still find this guy entertaining, but almost everytime that I turn his show on (106.7 from 2-3pm, if you're wondering), I leave it on.

The guy makes me laugh... what's it to you?!?

Stop looking at me like that.


To the band Midlake, who have song called "Roscoe" that is so good that roughly 1,846 of the blogs that I read have posted an MP3 within the past day or two.

It might not be that good, but as one of the (*cough*) authors said... it demands repeated listens. Nice 70s vibe. Dig it at Gorilla Vs. Bear or YANP (or elsewhere, if you want).


To you, for not laughing in my face as I honestly consider going to the desert in April for (what else?) more music.

Coachella beckons, and since I haven't gone before... I'm overdue, you know?


On another note... anybody got sume Tussin?

Back by Popular Demand

You know, you give, and you give, and you give... and some people still want more.

I now have two new pieces up at Harmonium (I'll stop mentioning it soon enough), and yet... some people still want more.


The only reason I haven't been here much this week is that the past few days have consisted of the following:

cold/flu/leprosy (hard to tell)
vitamin c, centrum and other pill-like thingys
sore throat
wonton soup
leaving "work" early
watching Hustle & Flow with my eyes half-sealed
going to bed at 8pm to compensate

So lay off, yo. I might be on the road to recovery, or... this might just be the beginning. I only get one cold a year, typically, but they do tend to last a bit. Let's hope that's not the case, this time.


I'll take your requests/complaints as a compliment, though... and as such, perhaps I owe you some goodies.

Go over to You Ain't No Picasso for two posts on Colin Meloy... one that has a .zip of the entire KEXP show from Wednesday, and a more recent one with some additional tunes from the opening night of his show.

Jed caught him in Portland last night, and it goes without saying that he loved what he saw.

Gotta get out to Portland. One of these days.


Head here for the best interview with Stuart Murdoch that I've ever read. Now, granted, I never read "Just a Modern Rock Band," or whatever it's called, but... I learned a few things here.

Rock stars-- is there anything they don't know?


My parents are heading out on another trip today. This time, a week in Arizona, playing golf and lounging with old friends.

I'd be jealous, but I will instead choose to look forward to my time spent in the desert, later this year, with even more of my closest friends.

I hope that you will join me, as we go to Coachella 2006.

Tickets on sale on Saturday, February 4.

Look at that (tentative) line-up... As a great philosopher once said, "sweet merciful crap"! Maybe these guys will even show up!


That's two references, if you're counting. Unintentional... but still.


Have a minute to kill?

Do you love Ray Parker, Jr.?

Then maybe you'd like to check this out.


the arcade fire - age of consent (new order cover)
colin meloy - devil's elbow
marah - freedom park
a tribe called quest - i left my wallet in el segundo (vampire mix)
the long winters - ultimatum

Wednesday, January 18, 2006

Matt Roush, Jr.

So, if it isn't too late to let you know about this... Colin Meloy's going to be doing a live set on KEXP this afternoon at 6pm EST. You can listen live online. Should be super-groovy.

He'll probably play some new Decemberists tunes, perhaps some Tarkio... maybe even a Shirley Collins cover???




Did they actually name a show Love Monkey?

Love Monkey?!?

I mean, I know it's Ed and all, and the show seems to be going for a slightly High Fidelity-type of thing (Nic Harcourt is doing the playlisting, if you know who he is), but...


I will simply not watch a show called Love Monkey.


That being said, I watched a movie called The Chumscrubber the other night.

And it was pretty good.

If you liked Donnie Darko, chances are you'd like this. The less you know about it, the better... but I can tell you that like Donnie Darko, it has a pretty impressive cast.

Given the name of the damned thing.

And like that movie... it's pretty f'n weird.


Watched a few minutes of American Idol last night; hated myself for doing so.

Watched none of 24; felt OK about it.

Will watch Lost tonight; will enjoy, mos def.


Seems like I've been calling a number of you, lately, only to find you out. Voicemail city.

Well, guess what! Since you were soooooo busy that you couldn't pick up your phone when I called?

Now I've got a sore throat!

So I won't be talking to you! How's about them apples?



I have not been drinking, by the way.


The work week has been going OK, so far. Thanks for asking. Let's hope things continue.


As I said the other day, be on the lookout for my Marah review on Harmonium, possibly tomarah (ha), as well as a possible blurb on the new Flaming Lips single that, despite the fanboys yells to the contrary, is pretty underwhelming.


Jay-- hope your presentation went well. I had my fingers crossed for you the whole time.

Monday, January 16, 2006

Hey, Jill!

I'm sure you've already seen this.

But for the rest of you, click here and watch a cute video.

Sunday, January 15, 2006

Short Answers

1) Marah was tremendous. Write-up coming soon on Harmonium.

2) The open house was a success, as well. We had been warned not to expect much in the way of traffic, but apparently 18 different parties came through within 2 hours or so, all saying very complimentary things.

Which is great.

Hopefully, offers will follow.

3) Hope you're having a nice holiday weekend!

Saturday, January 14, 2006

Nobody's Home, So Nobody Minds

Not seeing them tonight... but I am seeing Marah at IOTA. Very psyched.

Kudos to Jay for bringing the show to my attention and passing along the invite. Strangely enough, Marah had been on my mind as of late, as one of those bands I've largely missed but knew I shouldn't have (must have heard them on my trip to Ithaca or something). If you've never heard them... they sound like early Springsteen mixed with early period (drunk, shambling) Replacements. You can divide by two, if you want.

Oh, and they're from Philly, so that makes them extra-special.

Really looking forward to a great show.


Last night was a good time, in the main because it was spent out of the house. I had a nice dinner with Lexie, followed by an early night to bed.

At least, that was the plan, until Chris called me on my way home from dinner, and talked me into an evening of beer and Family Guy episodes.

We only watched seven of them in a row.

What, you wanna fight about it?

Strangely enough, the best part of the night may have been reminiscing with Chris about the glory days of the 80s Bruins/Flyers and Celtics/Sixers matchups.



Stewie popping a blood vessel was the scene that got the most laughs last night, for the record.


So, what is arguably the best NFL weekend of the year is here, and... yeah. I couldn't give a shit about any of the four games.

Maybe the Redskins game, just because I live here, and people care.

And maybe the Patsies later on tonight, because it could be an interesting matchup. But really... I don't give a whit.

Does that make me an NFL frontrunner, or some kind of fraud? That I can't get up for the games unless the Birds are in the mix?

Well, it's been that kind of season. All the NFL energy and love was taken from me months ago.

And I've got nothing left to give.

Apparently, I'm not the only one. Hell, even Chris barely knew the day and time that the Pats were playing, when I asked him earlier in the week.

Although that's probably attributable to the ennui that sets in after your team has won more Super Bowls trophies than they can carry at one time.



Nothing else to report, save for a sighting of my old neighbor Joan this morning... some of you might remember that she moved to Florida about two years ago now (wow) to head up an Air Force base.

Well, she was in town for a speech she was giving, and...

It's always nice seeing old friends.


Open House tomorrow, 1-4pm. You're more than welcome to come by... though I warn you that I won't be anywhere close.

I don't know where I'll be, incidentally. But perching in a window across the street, binoculars strapped to my face, cheering as people drive by and check the place out... not my style.

That being said... you should really come over.

It's a great place, you know. And an absolute steal, if I do say so myself.

Friday, January 13, 2006

Morning Ritual

This morning's been a good one.

I've been trying some new morning rituals... mostly centered around having a better breakfast, but with a few other things mixed in... and things seem to be working. Easy to incorporate, easy to enjoy.

There's no need, after all, for me to be sitting at my computer before 7am when no one else at my company is "in" until 8/9am.

Half the time I'm just writing here, anyway... which (no offense) I can do any time. It doesn't need to be before dawn.


A few priorities get shifted around, and... maybe I can improve my life a little bit. Mix in a daily walk, a few other things.

Why haven't I done this before?


And then I came here, sat down, and found that I'd received an email-- wedding pictures from Libby.

You really should see them.



It's time for some random links.

Change the subject, change the subject, get some air.


How's about glow-in-the-dark pigs?


This has been floating around for some time, but I don't think I've ever posted it here.

As Steph noted, it's great for when you have a conference call.

So use your mouse, click and drag, and give W. a fling. Make sure you try to injure him when you do this... It's more enjoyable that way.


This is what South by Southwest looks like, so far.

Remember-- this is the early list.

Now, I'm not much of a fan of Texas... but if any of you are interested... give me a holler.


Speaking of music... wouldn't you know that for all my nattering on and on about the Belle & Sebastian/New Pornos shows... I slept on actually purchasing tickets?

And of course, they sold out both shows at the 9:30 Club, almost immediately.


Oh well-- at least I've seen B&S once before. And at $35/40 per ticket... well, I can treat myself to a nice filet that night, instead.

Thursday, January 12, 2006

Ladies and Gentlemen


I am feeling better now. The parties, guilty and innocent, had a conference call. And while no apologies were made... a productive conversation was had.

So we can move on. Which is effectively as good as an apology.

And that's one to grow on.


On a different note, the yuppie/yindie/yupster tastemakers...


Have fun perusing their nominations for best album of the past year (that sold less than 500,000 copies, that is). Lots of fun hyperclickitude.


OK, because you asked. My top 5 from that list would be...

5. Thunder, Lightning, Strike (The Go! Team)
4. Gimme Fiction (Spoon)
3. Z (My Morning Jacket)
2. Picaresque (The Decemberists)
1. Funeral (The Arcade Fire)


Know what I'm noticing on the blogs?

Less music, and more comedy.

If you've tired of the Comedians of Comedy, if you know every David Cross bit by heart... perhaps you should try Eugene Mirman? Aziz Ansari?

Meh. You probably have their stuff memorized, too.


giant drag - slayer
silver jews - train across the sea
beck - parasite (nick drake cover)
the boy least likely to - be gentle with me
rilo kiley - let my love open the door (pete townshend cover)

About Last Night

Sorry if I wasn't picking up the phone... the workday left me a bit shellshocked.

Threw a Tombstone in the oven, had a beer, and watched the always-great Lost.

And that was it.

Apparently Abby wanted to talk to me at some point... I told her "just a second" and promptly left her standing outside the bedroom door for five minutes, waiting, before she finally realized I wasn't talking, and walked away.

I don't remember any of this, and even in the worst of moods, I wouldn't have done that to her intentionally.

Though I guess I did.


The job, the house going on the market, the divorce, the having to find a new place, the having to get new insurance/benefits/financial this-and-thats in a few months (if not sooner), my overall fitness (or lack thereof)... it's starting to weigh on me, more than it has previously.

I don't mean to worry you... but it's better to let it out even this little bit than to keep it inside, right?

I wonder if this won't be the week that I look back upon, months from now, and wonder "how in the fuck did I ever get past that???"


It is 7:30am, and I already want a beer.


This is just a phase.

Just a phase.

Wednesday, January 11, 2006

Tuesday, January 10, 2006

From the "What Else is New?" Department

Remember my post the other day, giving a bit of credit to the Bush Administration?

Is it too late to take it back?


There is a Sign

Outside of my house.

Very weird.


To compensate for my recent grouchiness... check this shiz out.

Monday, January 09, 2006

Without Having Watched the Videos

Here are my top 3 favorite Wing Bowl entrants so far, ranked by the "nausea factor" of their eating stunts.

I have chosen to rank both those who succeeded, and those who failed. For they are all champions.


3. Macwing (Haggis)
2. Rich the Locust (don't ask)
1. Hungry Hungry Hebrew (Gefilte Fish)


3. John (hot dog stir fry)
2. One Hung Tongue (2/5 lbs. cow tongue)
1. Wingest Khan (cheesesteak with worms)

Credit Where It's Due

Not that the credit necessarily belongs to our fine President... although it might... but the Dow is above 11,000 for the first time since pre-9/11 times.

Which is a good thing, right?



Howard Stern started on Sirius today, and apart from a news story or two... the world continued to rotate and revolve.

I don't know that I miss him all that much. Somehow, I think I'll survive his departure.

That said, I'd be interested to know what it sounded like (Ilise).


To all those who think they were due to be fired today (and that was, sadly, several of you)... I hope you're doing OK.

Thoughts and prayers, men and women.




I leave you with this. Turn the sound down (both because it's loud and horrendous) and stick with it. It gets better as it goes.

I found it the other day, and it continues to blow my mind, MAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNN.

Sunday, January 08, 2006

What I've Been Up To

And no, I'm not talking weight. What have I been doing with myself, these past few days?

Staying in and working on the homefront... because we're putting the house on the market. This Tuesday.

See, we don't mess around, here. A few months of contractors and exceptional bills has come to this... a few final frantic days of cleaning (solutions), to be followed by a cavalcade of offers (hopefully within this first month... but who knows). The listing will be online Tuesday afternoon and/or Wednesday morning, with an open house to follow on Sunday afternoon from 1-4pm. You should come by-- we might have cookies, fresh outta the oven.

It goes without saying, but if you know of anyone in the market for a townhouse, I urge you to let them know of our wonderful place. I want you to crouch down, lean into their ear, and shout "BUY!!! BUY!!! BUY!!!"

I still have some time before the Great Apartment Search 2006 begins... but things are clearly going to start moving forward, even faster (and furious-er) than they did before. Please bear with me as I try to balance a few more things than usual.


Hell of a show by the 'Skins, yesterday, huh? Who would have thought that 120 total yards would have been (more than) enough to win that game?

Good for them, I guess.


Why so generous, you ask?

The Giants just got waxed, that's why. And a New York loss... well, it's always a tonic.

That... and Wing Bowl is just around the corner...

Friday, January 06, 2006

The Only Question is Whether I Go to Both

Belle & Sebastian / New Pornographers US tour dates, fresh out of the oven:

Feb 25th Toronto - The Docks
Feb 26th Montreal - Metropolis
Feb 27th Boston - Avalon
Feb 28th Boston - Avalon
March 2nd NYC - Nokia Theatre
March 3rd NYC - Nokia Theatre
March 4th Philadelphia - Electric Factory
March 5th Washington - 9.30 Club (Sunday)
March 6th Washington - 9.30 Club (Monday)

March 8th Nashville - Ryman Auditorium
March 9th Louisville - Brown Theatre
March 10th Chicago - Riviera
March 11th Milwaukee - Riverside Theatre
March 12th Minneapolis - Orpheum Theatre
March 14th Dallas - Granada Theatre
March 15th Austin - Stubbs (Matador SXSW Show) w/ Mogwai, Cat Power and Pretty Girls Make Graves
March 18th LA - Wiltern
March 19th LA - Wiltern
March 21st SF - Concourse @ The SF Design Center
March 23rd Portland - Roseland Ballroom
March 24th Vancouver - Commodore (no New Porn)
March 25th Seattle - Paramount

Thursday, January 05, 2006

"I Have the Feeling... About 60 Percent of What You Say is Crap"

Dave be tired.

Having contractors in the house is never fun... but having all of the furniture in the house rearranged on top of that... now that's the cherry on top of the proverbial sundae. I've got more cabinets sitting in bathrooms, and more carpet shavings littered... well, everywhere, than... than... than there is tea in China.

Yeah! That's the ticket!

See, I'm getting all the carpet in my house replaced, so that I can enjoy it for less than a month. Truth is, the job is 85% done, and... it looks fantastic. Three of our four floors look brand-spankin' new.

Between the kids that lived here before us and the dog... what was the dog's name, again?

Oh, yeah... Venus. Well, we all did a job on the old carpets.

These new ones? You could eat off 'em.


Enough about carpeting. Go forth, and make animals out of the London Underground.


Has anybody heard who won last night's game?

Because, and maybe it's just me... it doesn't seem like anybody's talking about it.

(Vince Young for President)


Finally got around to watching some episodes of Entourage this week... and I gotta say... I can't believe this show hadn't existed anywhere else before.

Maybe it did, and I just missed it.

But it probably wasn't this great.

And from everything I've heard... season 2 absolutely kills season 1.


Did you happen to catch Letterman's slam(s) of Bill O'Reilly the other night? Yikes-- who let Dave have opinions?

And if that didn't move you... here's what followed, for the sake of context:

Letterman: “I’m not smart enough to debate you point to point on this, but I have the feeling, I have the feeling about 60 percent of what you say is crap. [audience laughter] But I don’t know that for a fact. [more audience applause]

Paul Shaffer: “60 percent.”

Letterman: “60 percent. I'm just spit-balling here.”

O’Reilly: “Listen, I respect your opinion. You should respect mine.”

Letterman: “Well, ah, I, okay. But I think you’re-”

O’Reilly: “Our analysis is based on the best evidence we can get.”

Letterman: “Yeah, but I think there’s something, this fair and balanced. I'm not sure that it's, I don't think that you represent an objective viewpoint.”

O’Reilly: “Well, you’re going to have to give me an example if you're going to make those claims.”

Letterman: “Well I don’t watch your show so that would be impossible.”

O’Reilly: “Then why would you come to that conclusion if you don't watch the program?”

Letterman: “Because of things that I’ve read, things that I know.”

O’Reilly: “Oh come on, you're going to take things that you've read. You know what that says about you? Come on. Watch it for a couple, look, watch it for a half hour. You'll get addicted. You'll be a Factor fan, we'll send you a hat.”

Letterman: “You’ll send me a hat. Well, send Cindy Sheehan a hat”

O’Reilly: “I’ll be happy to.”


Speaking of, Sweet Jesus, I Hate Bill O'Reilly. Be sure to read up on his phoney-baloney "War on Christmas" while you check that page out. Much more video from the appearance can be found there, as well.

Remember, friends-- an educated populace is like kryptonite to the Bill O'Reillys of the world. As long as people don't read the papers, as long as they rely on single sources (read: networks) for their ideas, as long as they fall prey to scare tactics without questioning... he's got an audience.

So, heal thyself.


Wednesday, January 04, 2006


If you know the whereabouts of Andrew Hunt, his wife Laura, or their young 'un Peyton... or can attest to the health and/or well-being of any (or all) of them this morning... please let me know as soon as possible.

Because, although in Daveland "a win is a win is a win"... that's not quite how it works in Andyville. And a Penn State team being taken until 1AM by Florida State, before a national audience...

... and three overtimes...

... and many questionable plays in-between...

... and several Kevin Kelly misses...

I'd frankly be surprised if we didn't have a situation this morning.

Just remember to breathe, buddy.


There you go.


Carpeting guys coming today and tomorrow... we had to clean/put away tons of shit last night, and work today is going to be haphazard.

Because TVs and electronics have to be disconnected throughout the day, that's why.

Not looking forward to it, but... for those of you hoping for a timetable...

We're aiming to have the house on the market by next Sunday.

Tuesday, January 03, 2006


"The Lord's giving me an opportunity to show what my life is about,'' he said. "If I can only show my best foot forward in the good times, then I'm not a very good man.''

-- Tony Dungy


If you haven't already done so, read this bit on Tony Dungy and his son's funeral here. Not because it's depressing... but because it's uplifting.

Redskins Fans Are the Worst in the World

Namely, Clinton Portis' mother. Wow. How dare she.

Pay no attention to what the article said. I'm sure the Eagles fan(s) were 100% innocent.

Welcome Back

First and foremost, I hope that you had a very Happy New Year.

You'll have to tell me all about it. Though the next few nights may be a bit busy. See, we're having our house re-carpeted on Wednesday (or Thursday)... and, before then, we need to move everything around.

And clean. Because our goal (realistic or not) is to try and put the house on the market by next weekend. Not THIS weekend. Next.


Secondly, please say hello to Mike and Steph's old friend, Trogdor. It had been too long since we've seen the Burninator-- or played his video game!


Thirdly, for those of you who think that the South Park guys don't go far enough... click here. And don't say I didn't warn you.



Oh, Blue. Rest in peace, my man.


Ithaca was great-- thanks for asking. And the six-plus hour drive, up and back, was made infinitely better with the iPod. It seemed like an hour trip, as opposed to the day-long sludge that it used to be.

So, hooray for Apple, and thanks again to the parents for the gift.

Once I got into town, Steph, her friend Lisa and I got some coffee and basically gabbed... Steph and I went to her office for a little while, as she had a few things she needed to get done... but Friday was (for the most part) an easy day. Not much on the docket, though we did have a fantastic meal at an Italian place called Za Za's.

And for those of you who'd care-- I learned that Joe's is coming back to Ithaca. New management, perhaps, but good news nevertheless.


On Saturday morning I continued my streak of being completely unable to sleep in, and so I finished George Pelecanos' Drama City. A most excellent quick read. Once the late morning came, I got a dose of Hot Truck, and we went food shopping.

By the way... never go to Wegman's on New Year's Eve. I've never seen a more crowded supermarket. The scene was so tension-inducing that... we both got massages.

Steph already had an appointment... so when it came up that I'd never had one, before, we called the place and realized they had an opening.

I will have many more in the future, with any luck. 'Twas wonderful, if too short at a half-hour. The masseuse told me (shocking, this) that my neck and shoulders were incredibly tense... and that I should seek out someone who specializes in deep-tissue massage once I got home.

With any luck, I will.

After a great Thai stir fry, Steph and I bounced between a few places for New Year's-- Lisa and Will's (where we knocked out a $50 bottle of champagne at an impressive/frightening speed) and Annette and Jim's. Good times.

Low maintenance, which... was for the best.


Sunday was a good bit of relaxing (the whole trip was a good bit of relaxing-- we intentionally scheduled little "stuff" to do)... and some driving to see the sights. I'd never been to Buttermilk Falls... but when I saw them, I wished I lived in Ithaca again.

What else is new? It's beautiful up there!

Much eating, much drinking, much Thai-fooding led to Capote. Which was awesome. As in, possible Best Picture awesome. Phillip Seymour Hoffman is scary-talented.


Hit the road early yesterday (and drove through more rain and fog than I knew existed), and got home in time to see Ohio State lay the wood to Notre Dame. God Bless Troy Smith. Great game-- even if I could barely keep my eyes open from the drive.


More later... work beckons.