Tuesday, February 28, 2006

Even If Things Get Heavy...

A fake Jamaican took every last dime with a scam
It was worth it just to learn from sleight-of-hand
Bad news comes don't you worry even when it lands
Good news will work its way to all them plans
We both got fired on exactly the same day
Well we'll float on, good news is on the way

Goodbye, February

I will miss you, not at all.

***

As things have been pretty boring as of late, and as I have nothing of substance to add this morning... here are two Family Guy clips to tide us over.

One is a montage of some of the best moments of this current season.

And the other is Peter Griffin doing the Top 10 list (the "Top Ten Things I, Peter Griffin, Would Like To Say To America") on Letterman the other night.

***

Legit content, coming soon.

Maybe.

***

Do I sound like this?

Sunday, February 26, 2006

I'm Not Sorry, There's Nothing to Say

Our open house was a resounding failure. Only four groups of people showed up, apparently. Two were looking for garage units (then why in the hell did you show up?) and two were simply not impressed enough to make an offer.

Bastards.

***

I was accosted by a Republican candidate-to-be this weekend. His tenaciousness and misguided generalizations, his "DRWNLYD" license plate, the faces he was making at me (literally) for holding contrary opinions... I don't know. I think I'll remain a Dem for now.

Shame. You never get a second chance to make a first impression.

***

Harmonium reviews that are finished and that will likely be showing up throughout the week: Guns 'n Roses demos, The Green and Yellow TV, and the Stars/Magnet show.

***

Had a great time at the show, a great time at the Georgetown/Syracuse game with Rob, and a great time earlier today, hanging out with Steph in Bethesda.

*cough*

***

This may be the gayest event of the season.

***

This may be the best Zabka/Chuck Norris reference of the weekend.

***

This is the best sports story you will ever see (thanks, Chris).

***

This may remind you of a band you once loved.

***

And this got me slightly (slightly) excited.

Friday, February 24, 2006

Not Safe for Work

Sometimes, I'll bring up the Wing Bowl without provocation.

But this morning, this time... it isn't about me. It's about the legions of you (well, the four of you) who have been asking for videos, pictures and the like.

The guys at WIP, God bless 'em, have launched a new page devoted to all that nonsense. But before you click, be warned... there's likely going to be a good bit of skin showing, here or there. I don't know. I haven't checked. Call it a hunch.

If you decide to take a peek at work... you've been warned.

Now go.

Thursday, February 23, 2006

"Ladies Aren't Pretty When They Frown"

If you're saying "huh?" to that title, that means that you haven't checked out "Ask a Republican."

So go there, already. Watch the seven short (very short) videos. Shut me up.

And if you can't figure out who the Congressman actually is (*gasp*)... I'll clue you in later. Trust me, you've seen him before.

***

Another crazy day today... again, on all fronts. At the risk of repeating myself, we're making progress.

***

Tomorrow night is the first live show I'm getting into for free because of Harmonium... the Stars/Magnet show.

I will have a review of the show coming soon, as well as at least three new album reviews (Division Day, The Green and Yellow TV, and Tally Hall).

At some point, I may get back to writing about bands that people have heard of!

Anyway, do yourself an enormous favor and download Stars' "Your Ex-Lover Is Dead" (or, apparently, the whole of the very wonderful Set Yourself on Fire) here. If you don't think it's the best song you've ever heard, I'll give you your money back.

And maybe, just maybe, I'd stop talking about it.

Prolly not, though.

***

Yet another movie that looks like it could absolutely, completely rule.

From the same guys that did the ridiculously great Ghost World and the insanely twisted Bad Santa, if that gives you your bearings.

***

Awesome.

***

Not that I ever really, truly understand our President... but what is going on here? Anyone?

Anyone?

I mean, when Hastert, Frist, and other GOP bigwigs are calling you out publicly... maybe you should ease up a bit on the veto threat... right?

And for the love of God, please, please, PLEASE stop telling us that we're the ones who are continually threatening the national security by offering dissenting opinions.

Guys-- that rubric never works!

***

Yes, I just used the word "rubric."

Deal with it.

***

D'oh!

***

Witness-- a great column by a great (in terms of size, anyway) man. Way to go, Bill Conlin.

Nobody messes with Harry the K and gets away with it!

***

Finally, Aziz Ansari is at it again.

On my blog, that is. Watch his video update of High Fidelity (sorta) here (scroll down a little bit to see the video).

Jill, if milk doesn't shoot out your nose, I owe you a cookie.

Wednesday, February 22, 2006

Another Busy Day

But this time, not as heart-attack inducing as last week's.

So please. No worries, no concern. I'm gonna be jesssst fine. :)

***

We've decided to have another open house this Sunday afternoon. After speaking with our realtor, we concluded that it couldn't hurt to have more signs go up on the surrounding roads, and have more foot traffic than we'd have otherwise had.

So. For all of you who've been pining to see my abode, but who I've never let in the front door?

Now is your chance.

And for all of you looking for something to do with your Sunday afternoon? I'm going to be out of the house for 3 hours... looking for suggestions.

Anyone? Anyone?

***

Also moving forward is the wife thing.

As all of you know, we're trying to get this done as soon as possible, for all of our sakes. And a step or two was taken today that will make that possible.

Viva lawyers!

***

Good day job-wise, too... but I shan't talk about it here. You never know who might be lurking... and I wouldn't want to bore. ;)

***

It's eleven months away, but Wing Bowl is never far from my thoughts.

***

There are some people, it seems, who are not in favor of Daniel Craig's recent installment as the new 007.

***

Jenny Lewis + Sarah Silverman + Hee Haw = video goodness.

Check out "Rise Up With Fists."

***

guns n' roses - madagascar
new order - blue monday
people in planes - if you talk too much (my head will explode)
sam and dave - hold on, i'm coming
the streets - when you wasn't famous

BONUS!


the onion radio news - "jerry lewis undergoes emergency gefloigel surgery"

Straight Down

It is snowing out. Hard.

What makes this notable is that there seems to be no wind whatsoever... and so the snow is falling straight down. I can't remember the last time I saw that.

Don't Be Scared... Be Strong!!!

Look.

I know times are tough right now, and we've all got a lot going on. But we've made it through plenty of bad times before, and we can do it ag-



WHAT??? We've got to deal with a fucking MYSTERY BLOB, now?!?

We're never gonna make it!!!

We're doomed!!!

We're...



*phew*

Sorry about that.

I'm doing much better now. Thank you, Dustin Nguyen.

And thank you, Peter DeLuise. You guys always know how to calm me down.

***

Big thanks to Chris, who found what might be the single most horrifying/hysterical article I've read in years.

We've all been keeping up with the Federline's, sure... but this article has more K-Fed quotes per capita than ever before.

It's overload. That's right-- K-Fed overload.

So, in that spirit (not really), here's a test for you. Guess which of these quotes came from Kevin, and which is from famed American physicist Richard Feynman. Never mind that Feynman's been dead for almost 20 years. It's irrelevant, here.



(1) "There are 10^11 stars in the galaxy. That used to be a huge number. But it's only a hundred billion. It's less than the national deficit! We used to call them astronomical numbers. Now we should call them economical numbers."

(2) "WD-40 takes crayon off walls, but that orange citrus oil, Goo Gone? Man, I got gum out of the carpet with that s--t."

Oh, just read the K-Fed article, already. It's gold, Jerry!



***

Whoops.

***

Anyone who's ever read about the KLF knows not to completely discount this... however implausible it might seem.

Either way, it makes great copy, huh?

***

Haven't spoken about any of the festivals lately... here's the newest lineup to get indie boys and girls excited, this time for Seattle's "Sasquatch."

And no, Kurt Cobain will not be making an appearance, so quit thinkin' it.

Tuesday, February 21, 2006

Here Is a Man Who Will Fight for Your Honor



***

Good morning, y'all. Did that weekend go by entirely too fast, or was it just me?

***

1) We had one person come by the house all weekend. Not to be melodramatic and call that a "disaster," but we are very disappointed.

2) Does anyone know whether the Olympics are still going on?

3) Steph is coming in next weekend! Huzzah!

***

Glad you're back, Ryan. I don't know where you were, necessarily, but I'm glad you're back, anyway.

***

That noise you heard?

Radiohead fans passing out, collectively. Now, we've heard this all before... so I'll believe it when I see it on the album, in my greasy little hands. But this is good news, indeed.

Such. A. Dork.

***

Please download Eugene's three phone calls.

You like to laugh, don't you?

***

English majors of the world... unite and take over.

Or, just put a list together. Your choice.

***

Today's weird(est) link might be this one. And strangely enough, it actually works for a good number of songs. "Happy Birthday," I think I tried "Satisfaction,"... anything mainstream has a shot.

It missed "Cut Your Hair," but what are you gonna do?

***

1) Chris Evans is still a twat.

2) Holograms are only so cool after awhile... if they were ever cool to begin with.

3) Enormous children's choirs (singing about guns), though? Can make a "meh" performance into a vaguely memorable one. And kids enjoying themselves is always a cool thing, right?

Because I can't post enough about Gorillaz... check out "Dirty Harry," performed live at last week's Brits, here.

***

This almost makes me wish I lived in New York.

Random rules, huh?

***

Quick clip from Kimmel, on the Cheney thing.

I'm still laughing, even though we're long past the expiration date on this thing.

***

Finally, the most disturbing clip, this time from Wonder Showzen. If it freaks you out ... well, it should. That's what it's there for.

But that doesn't mean it's not amusing in its utter weirdness.

***

Ta for now.

Sunday, February 19, 2006

Everything, All of the Time

Hey there... hope you're having a nice, relaxing weekend. I know that I am.

Just a few odds and ends, today... links that have been collecting dust, but that are still worth sharing.

For instance, the comedians section I've just added, off to the right. Let me know if I'm forgetting anyone.

***

Using that as a jumping-off point... Mr. Aziz Ansari. Aziz seems to have musical taste in line with my own... which is to say that he's mildly allergic to Bad English, Jason Mraz and the like.

It seems that he and his friend had a competition of sorts, and Aziz lost. Check out Aziz paying off the bet here.

***

Another funny guy? Demetri Martin, who is roughly 13 years old.

Now, that might not be completely true, but... c'mon! Look at him! He's a fresh-faced fellow, isn't he?

Anyway. Watch his Daily Show trendspotting piece on social networking. Laugh.

***

Seems that Oprah isn't done judging people.

***



***

Not Simmons' best mailbag... but it's his first in awhile, and so it is worth the link. Even a weak mailbag is still a mailbag, you know?

Anyway, the Carey/Clemens comparison alone is something that no other mortal could have come up with.

***

The first rule of Fight Club is: you do not talk about Fight Club.

*cough*

***

Finally, this may be the movie I'm looking forward to the most in 2006.

Just watch the clip. Trust me, for once. :)

Friday, February 17, 2006

Buckethead Completists, Give a Cheer

Two new Guns n' Roses demos, allegedly, can be found hyah.

Concerning the Relationship Between One's Foot and One's Mouth

In my experience, I've found that my foot fits in my mouth snugly.

And all too frequently.

Next round's on me for the foreseeable future, buddy.

Thursday, February 16, 2006

"Different Names for the Same Thing"

... sounds like Phil Collins. I love it, anyway.

On with the show... special "Picture Pages" edition!



1) Chuck Norris facts are still funny.



They might need to go on the Wallace and Gromit/Young Ones/Fool on the Hill list... if only temporarily.




2) I'm loving Ear Farm's "8+" feature, and as always, Stylus' "Playing God" column. The latter, in particular, lets me know that there are plenty of people out there who think about these things far more than even I.

Believe it, or not.


3) Store-bought miso soup-- even if said soup comes from the all-powerful Trader Joe's-- it just ain't the same. I should have known better, and, well, I paid the price.

Disgusting. Consider that lesson... learned.



4) Had someone visit the house today. I have no idea how serious this person might have been, although I came back to see them sitting in their car... for ten minutes-plus, on the phone with someone.

Our realtor has heard nothing yet... but this was a promising development, and came out of nowhere. In fact, the realtor called me and asked if she could come over in 10 minutes.

I asked for 30, so I could neaten up. And I got 30... because I am a master negotiator.


5) Books currently out of the library: A Long Way Down - Nick Hornby; Assassination Vacation by Sarah Vowell; and Shalimar the Clown - Salman Rushdie.

I'm giving the Hornby book a chance despite its completely ridiculous premise. My hope is that Hornby is talented enough to make the flimsy substantial. He did that with High Fidelity... but then again, that book could have ended 100 pages before it did.


6) The Yeah Yeah Yeahs could blow up big this Spring. Like, Top 40-style. If they want to, that is. If you haven't heard new-possible-single-who-knows "Gold Lion" yet... it's (a) awesome and (b) bound to get stuck in your head.

But in a good way. Trust me-- there are worse bands that could stick there.



(this was the most palatable shot I could find on short notice)


7) Monday will mark the final podcast for Ricky Gervais & crew. At least for a while. They've spoken of doing another round of 12, which would be great, but damn if I haven't learned to look forward to Monday mornings over the past few months.

Seek it out and get it, already. It's free, I tells ya.




8) I miss Jayson Stark's old columns. There. I said it.


9) This is the coolest thing. Might have to drop some coin.




10) Meeting people is easy... if you've got skills.

Wowee Zowee

Hey, everybody. Sorry for the lack of posts yesterday. I'm sure you were hitting the "refresh" button over and over again, hoping, wishing...

Well now I'm back. Hooray!

Nothing new to report, except that last night's Lost was killer (yeah, I said "killer," you heard me)... but if you watched the episode, you already know that.

And if you didn't, well... your loss.

***

Top 3 albums of the year so far:

1) Belle & Sebastian - The Life Pursuit
2) Destroyer - Destroyer's Rubies
3) The Flaming Lips - At War with the Mystics

Top 3 albums I'm looking forward to hearing:

1) Radiohead (of course)
2) The Streets - The Hardest Way to Make an Easy Living
3) Division Day - Beartrap Island

***

Dear Damon: we love Blur.

We kinda like Gorillaz.

We even enjoy Mali Music from time to time.

But we absolutely cannot be asked to tolerate this.

So please, to use your own weird-ass phrase: give us it. And by "it," we mean a new Blur record, k?

***

Today's public service announcement/handy-dandy tip.

***

Moving backwards in time (or is it forwards?)... some things were better left in the 70s.

***

Going even further back, now, I give you... finger puppets!!!

***

And finally, in the God Bless Christopher Walken category... this, which never, ever gets old for me.

Tuesday, February 14, 2006

Oooof

Things are spinning again, super fast, and on all fronts. I think I need to take a step back, rather than making any decisions on:

1) current home
2) future apartment
3) attorney/proceedings
4) career status
5) women

This week sees much potential energy... not enough kinetic, if you get what I'm saying.

Not yet, anyway.

***

On another note, a more comfortable one for me, allow me to direct you to the newest link over there on the right--> the horribly titled "Ear Farm."

On it, you will find:
(1) an almost unspeakably awful/great Valentine's Day Mix,

(2) a CSI-worthy expose on whether Guns 'n Roses new album is actually coming out (gasp) next month, and

(3) live shows by the Decemberists and Pulp, among others.

Check it out. Give the site some love. It's got lots of goodness going on.

***

I think I need a life consultant, right about now.

***

You ever have a favorite song, that you've sung privately, at the top of your lungs, for years and years and years?

And that song just means the world to you?



Only to find that you had the words wrong?

I Don't Know Much...



Now, I know that I'm not quite in the position to give romantic advice, but gentlemen: please remember that today is about her, and not about you.

So I don't want to get any calls from you tonight.

None.

You should have bigger, better things planned.

***

If you don't have plans, however... if you're a bit down, a bit lonely, perhaps a bit angry at the whole Valentine's Day thing, for whatever reason?

Let me help you out. Just a little bit.

See? All is right with the world again.

Monday, February 13, 2006

Greatest Inventors in U.S. History

This man deserves a medal.

***

This man does not.

Interesting Note About the Periodic Table

Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because Chuck Norris only recognizes the element of surprise.

Sunday, February 12, 2006

Salvaged, Sausage

Thanks to Lexie and Jeff for letting me swing by the apartment on such short notice this afternoon. They took me in, fed me... all I had to do was pay them $29.95 for the whole thing.

Bargain!

Honestly, guys... chicken, sausage, ravioli, zucchini, wine... your company, of course... that was possibly the best 3pm dinner I've ever had. Much appreciated.

***

Move along... nothing to see here.

***

And if that isn't your political news of the day, what about this?

***

The odds on this lasting... they simply can't be quantified.

***

Remember, kids: "Two wrongs don't make a right. Unless you're Chuck Norris. Then two wrongs make a roundhouse kick to the face."

***

the flaming lips - vein of stars
division day - bad black moon
ramones - substitute (the who cover)
belle and sebastian - judy and the dream of horses (live)
silversun pickups - kissing families

Saturday, February 11, 2006

You Missed It, Didn't You.

I don't even have to ask.

Even though I warned you in advance, and gave you The Final Countdown, I know that you didn't watch the final four episodes of Arrested Development last night.



Well, a big wag of the finger to you, then. There's a reason that people who know the show are so damned fanatical about it: last night's two hours were amongst the best the show has ever had to offer, and...

Forget it.

You're not listening. But someday-- someday you'll Netflix the show, and you'll quickly realize that I was right all along. That it was one of the funniest, one of the greatest TV shows... OF ALL TIME!!!



Many links can be had from this post. It catches maybe 10% of all the My Name is Earl in-jokes, Family Ties and/or Saddam Hussein references and possibly-incestuous jaw-droppers that you would have seen, if you weren't busy watching the Olympians from Luxembourg march in to the stadium.

Fools. You'll never know that George Bush doesn't care about black puppets.



***

My pre-blizzard activity this morning? I bought myself a nice suit, a shirt, and a few ties.

I got a good deal, too, and (even more importantly) turned down the black suit that made me look like a third-rate blackjack dealer.

Thanks for the sartorial tips, Teso.

***

Say what you will about Michael Scott... but he "gets it." A sampling of his unspeakably awesome iTunes playlist:



***

Speaking of none of this, here's your gateway drug, of sorts (here, actually), to all the crap I bring to you... and all the crap your co-workers bring to you... and all the crap your parents bring to you...

VH-1's Web Junk separates the crap from the chaff, if you will, so that you don't have to. And they sometimes resurrect the clips you've long since forgotten (not really), like the bear who got shot out of a tree, and fell onto a trampoline.

Best. Clip. Ever.

***

Sorry. This might actually be the best clip ever.

Wait, what???

***

Speaking of animals, did you see that Al Michaels was traded for a cartoon bunny?

***

All this Chuck Norris hoo-hah... I don't know if it was started by Conan O'Brien, but he certainly perfected it.

Ignore the first fan-made montage... but the five Conan clips that follow are absolutely priceless.

***

Lastly, leave it to the Onion to tell the future.

Item! This miracle product will someday feature prominently in an absolutely wonderful series of Super Bowl advertisements!

Friday, February 10, 2006

What We All Need, From Time to Time

From a Dark Horizons interview with Steve Martin:


Question: Did you ever meet Peter Sellers?

Martin: I did. I met him in 1980. I think that he said something really profound to me. I was in Hawaii and we were both promoting a film and I was coming off a sort of hot stand-up career, and you know the cycle of sort of criticism - discovery, enthusiasm, success, slaughter. Right? So I was coming off the sort of slaughter years of my stand-up career which I stopped in 1980 when I had just done 'The Jerk' and it wasn't out. I was in Hawaii at a luau and it was at night and he came up to me and he was a god to me, and he said, 'I know you're under a lot of criticism right now, but I know what you're doing.' It was kind of breathtaking really. So I felt like there was like a little torch passed to me.

Say "Cheese"

The other night, at about 6pm or so, I just had to get out of the house.

Work had gone OK, mercifully, but... I needed some fresh air, I needed to go for a drive, even though there was plenty of food in the fridge, and even though there wasn't all that much gas in the tank.

So I grabbed the new Esquire magazine that had just come in the mail, and headed to one of my favorite restaurants (no, not McDonald's). Ordered one of my favorite meals. Enjoyed the fact that for the first time in a long time, the place was quiet, and pretty much empty.

It was so relaxing.

And I thought that, given where my head was on that particular evening... I couldn't be any happier. I was in my comfort zone.

***

Last night was even better, though-- because I finally saw Wallace and Gromit: Curse of the Were-Rabbit.

Go ahead and laugh at me. It's OK. I give you permission.

But as many of you know, Wallace and Gromit is and has been my comfort zone for years. Sometimes, we have books that make us feel better. Sometimes, food. Often, it's going out with friends.

For whatever reason, Wallace and Gromit always (and I mean always) makes me feel better. Which is why I have no idea why it took me this long to see the film.

It was ungodly. Otherworldly. Just so great, in so many different ways.

It made me so happy.

It's making me happy even now, just thinking about it.

***

And sure, it's just a kids movie.

It's British, yes, I know.

And it's friggin' clay, I get it.

But I repeat: it made me so happy.

And given everything else that's been flying about in my life as of late?

I'll take that.

Thursday, February 09, 2006

X & Y

Look, last night's Grammy's show was just something I used to bide my time before Lost came on. So, I wasn't planning on writing on it... but I did seem to catch most of the "highlights":

1) For music's so-called "biggest night," do you think they could get the varsity team to handle the microphones and the cameras? That might have been the absolute worst broadcast I've ever seen. Every performer sounded like they were whispering or yelling, every camera shot was a longview rather than a close-up, or vice versa... it was just awful to watch, and even worse to listen to.

Not one shot, taken as a whole, could trump the overall quality of my parents' home videos of Sock-n-Buskin's "The Cat and the Canary."

It's like CBS made an offer to your junior high school's A/V Group to do the broadcast.

Horrible.


2) No matter what Chris says, How to Dismantle an Atomic Bomb is a big stinking pile of adult contemporary, easy listening poo-- even when compared to the similarly lightweight All That You Can't Leave Behind.

And yes, I'm sure the songs were tremendous to see live.

But there's no way that the album should have been nominated this year-- let alone be the impetus for five awards. There were plenty of other mainstream albums that could have taken its place, if mainstream is what was demanded.

Not that I care... but come on. This was Bono's year, sure-- but hardly U2's.


3) That being said, Mary J. Blige's uber-hyper-melodramatic version of "One," was pretty great. And it would have stolen the show on most nights (nice of Bono to step aside and let her perform "her" song... I thought that he'd almost certainly sing over her).

But John Legend's sick version of "Ordinary People" topped everyone else last night, undoubtedly. This guy has been the best thing to happen to R&B since the D'Angelo/Tony Rich/Maxwell years, easily... and it was nice to see him get his well-deserved standing ovation. I hope he stays around.

As for Kanye and Jamie Foxx? Madonna with Gorillaz? Chris Martin counting "1-2-3-4" as he danced to the sludgiest song on a sludgy album?

Sorry-- no sale. All of their performances seemed too planned, too by-the-numbers, too... meh.

And Madonna? Enough with the leotards, already. Jesus. I already had to deal with Sharon Stone earlier this week, you know. Give me a break.

***

On another planet altogether...

***

Thanks to Matt Ruff, this interesting blurb from Time Magazine's Andrew Sullivan:

It's fascinating, isn't it, how this war has so often come down to what we are and are not allowed to see. We were not allowed to see (for long) the video deaths of those who jumped out of the World Trade Center. We were not allowed to see the coffins of soldiers arriving back in the U.S. We are still not allowed to see the most revealing photographs of what really happened at Abu Ghraib (the case is still tied up in appeals). We were not allowed to see the beheading of Nick Berg. And now we are not allowed to see the cartoons that are being used by Islamists for another round of violent intimidation of free societies.

And then, of course, there is what makes this war different. The web has made it possible to see almost all of this, if you look hard enough. Only the government-withheld Abu Ghraib pics are actually out of view for most people - and, even then, some have been kept back by editors, who see their job as preventing the flow of information, rather than enabling it. And so we have two media now in the world. We have the mainstream media whose job is increasingly not actually to disseminate information but to act as a moral steward, to become an arbiter of sensitivity and good taste. And it's up to places like Wikipedia or the blogosphere to disseminate actual facts, images and informed opinions. Obviously, I don't see the need to publish everything. And editorial judgment counts. But we are approaching a time when the mainstream media may have that as precisely its role - not as a source of informaton, but as an arbiter of social etiquette and good judgment. The New York Times as Miss Manners.

Wednesday, February 08, 2006

Bullets, Scattered

I'm not 100% positive, but I think that today marked the first time that a band has e-mailed me directly, requesting some Harmonium love.

Seems that Kevin from the band Division Day found my page via the always-excellent Gorilla vs. Bear, connected some dots, and asked for attention.

Well, Kevin, you're going to get it... though I can't promise you when it's going to come. Hopefully, within the next few weeks. I've got a lot going on right now... but I'll certainly try my bestest. Thanks for asking, and for checking out our site.

And hey, kid?



Thanks for reading. ;)

***

Speaking of Harmonium, a new message board launched this week for staff members-- organizing the record reviews and live show reviews we've got coming up, asking for site tips, etc...

Maybe it's just me, but... does it seem like we're taking some legit steps forward?

I mean, Ryan might be seeing Sigur Ros... I might have Ted Leo/Rx and/or Stars tickets coming my way... can a backstage pass to a Malkmus show really be that far off???

Anyway, a big thank you to Jed, balding Ryan and anyone else who might have had a hand in developing the board. It's going to be a big help as things continue to grow and move forward.

***

It's nothing to do with anything, but Stereogum just linked to the Arcade Fire's heartwarming performance from several months ago on a New York street corner, some hours after midnight. I'd forgotten all about it.

Completely unannounced, completely random, Win, Regine & Tim covered "Age of Consent," "Boys Don't Cry," and a few other tasty nuggets, if memory serves.

They're so damned great. I mean, really-- when's the last time you saw Bono busking at 3am?

Don't answer that.

***

I hate this. Looks like Patch Adams and Mrs. Doubtfire have a new member of the horrendous movie family.

Oh, Cheryl... why???

***

I love this. Putting someone that is fat, orange and bald in the booth screams TV magic.

***

And predictably, I love this most of all.

***

Hot on the heels of their announced integration of an IM feature... now Gmail offers this somewhat creepy feature, called Off the Record.

I don't know how I feel about it, though if Gmail continues to implement these innovations, I might decide to forego my Hotmail account forever and take the plunge.

So many changes, so little time.

***

Gotta cut it short, as someone is coming over to take a look at the house tonight at 7pm. Weird that they're interested in viewing the house (a) on a weeknight, (b) when it's pitch-black outside.

Maybe it's a sign.

Keep your fingers crossed, everybody!

Tuesday, February 07, 2006

Fame vs. Dignity

If Sharon Stone were any... um... "oogier," she'd be Kim Cattrall.

As for me? I liked her best when she wasn't in the camera shot at all-- it was the time that her husband was getting his toe chomped on by a komodo dragon. Remember, kids?

Anyway, this link is definitely not safe for work: the adults-only, internet-only trailer for Basic Instinct 2 (what-- you didn't know this was coming?).

It couldn't possibly be Showgirls bad, could it?

***

On the same page, you'll find a Benny Hill overdub of the trailer, that seemingly came out seconds after the trailer was released.

It makes the eyes burn a little less... but only slightly.

***

If you need to be cleansed afterwards, might I suggest this?

Operation Slap Shot

Say it ain't so, Rick!

Hey, Megan?

Why are you so goddamned fixated on me?

Apart from the obvious reasons? :P

***

Now, I know you (and I'm talking to all of you, now) have lives.

But this Friday night marks what will possibly be the final 4 episodes of Arrested Development. And while I've moved on to Entourage and Lost in recent months... Arrested Development might be one of the best comedies, ever.

Ever.

So even if you've never seen minute one of the show... do yourself a favor and watch (or tape) this Friday night's marathon, from 8-10pm.

I promise you, you won't be disappointed.

***

So far, Destroyer's Rubies and The Life Pursuit are second only to the Ricky Gervais podcast in the "love of my life (2006 edition)" department.

If you haven't listened... you might want to get in on that.

And hey, fellow Tribesmen? It's FREE!!!

Monday, February 06, 2006

In-Between Good and Bad News

I got a call from our realtor today, who said that he was in the neighborhood and wanted to drop by the place. This was a good thing, as I'd been meaning to ask him a few questions relating to the (non-)sale of our house.

Our place has been on the market for a month, now. And while people have been interested enough to come by every weekend, more or less... they haven't been interested enough to make us an offer.

Now ordinarily, we'd be patient, and stand pat... but there have been four "comparable" houses that have sold in our area during the last month.

Which, as the realtor said, means that we need to take action.

So, at his recommendation... we're lowering our price. Not by a ton, but by a significant enough increment to (hopefully) assure some increased attention.

We've apparently gotten a few nibbles... but mostly from indecisive couples. Hopefully, this "sale" will push them over the tipping point.

***

You'd think that this price reduction would bum me out, except for the fact that, as he said... that money was never ours. We're not losing it, because we never had it to begin with. So there's no reason to be upset.

Not really.

I asked him if this would smell like a "desperate" move that would look bad to prospective buyers... but he said absolutely not-- that amongst realtors, it signals that we are aware enough to react to market conditions, and adjust our property's price accordingly.

Anyway. Anything that helps this place go sooner... is a good thing.

Keep your fingers crossed.

***

My first purchase, once I get that phat check? Right here.

***

When I looked at this page, earlier this morning, I thought to myself-- that may be the greatest tease to a story I've ever read. That first sentence... is... what's the word? Tantalizing.

I don't have to tell you that the promised story wasn't even close to newsworthy or exciting, do I?

Damn you for getting my hopes up, Peter King!

***

This man has wasted a lot of our time, huh?

***

And finally... because we didn't hate A-Rod enough already... THIS IS AWESOME, BAYBEE!!!

No, It Wasn't Just You

What a boring, forgettable game.

Sure, Seattle has a right to complain a good bit about the completely one-sided officiating. But if their tight end would have caught more balls than he dropped... perhaps no one would be talking about the refs. Seattle could have won that game, had they even played 50% as well as they were capable.

But, as Wilbon said this morning:

"It was probably a fitting victory for an NFL season that was mostly unspectacular, though there is still nothing but praise for the Steelers, who fought back from a difficult midseason to not only reach the playoffs but win three straight games on the road before arriving in Detroit for what amounted to a coronation."

So, yeah, credit to the Steelers for their final four games. But I'm here to let you know-- you're not alone in having a sour taste in your mouth this morning.

The commercials, the Stones, the game... at least the chili was good.

***

First person to find an mp3 of Al Michaels dropping an "f" bomb on national TV, by the way... I'd appreciate it.

***

Still wondering what happened to my long post from Saturday, by the way. That shouldn't happen.

***

Say, have you ever heard of Nacho Libre?

Saturday, February 04, 2006

Grippy

Very interesting... a huge post of mine from earlier today... vanished.

Poof!

I have no idea how that happened, but as it was treacly and chock full 'o melodrama... I say "sayonara." Good riddance. Wouldn't wanna be ya.

Etcetera.

***

If you don't love Stephen Colbert, then as far as I'm concerned, you're a Communist. This page might be the most ridiculously great summation of The Colbert Report that you'll ever find.

Unless you're a bear. In which case, you have powers that I don't understand, and that frighten and terrify me on a weeknightly basis.

Anyway, I triple-dog-dare you to try and get through the page laugh-free.

That's right. The triple-dog-dare. The last bastion of the...

I'll stop.

***

As proof that Stephen Colbert owns you, this clip, featuring one David Cross, which by the end (you gotta stay with it) (d)evolves into the greatest Bill O'Reilly bitchslap, ever.

***

And though this Bill O'Reilly bitchslap is sledgehammer subtle... well, it's still fun, if only for K.O.'s insistence on doing a Ted Baxter impersonation throughout.

Thursday, February 02, 2006

Dave's Yuck Yuck Hut

From CNN:

"Rep. John Boehner, a Republican from Ohio, was chosen to become the new House majority leader Thursday."

So these dicks named some prick named Boehner to head up their party? Was Cox not available?

***

There. I'm done with the jokes. That's all. It's out of my system.

You've been a wonderful audience.

Aziz Ansari Is

Your new favorite comedian. Or, your old favorite comedian, if you live in Brooklyn and you're ahead of the curve.

Dick.

Anyway, listen to a snippet here (email me if you don't know how to right-click and hit "save as"), and then check out his ridiculous site here.

She Shoots Fine, for a Girl

Kobe Sucks.

Another Sunny Day

I've got a new review up at Harmonium, this time of the new Belle & Sebastian album.

I'm hesitant to even tell you about it, though, because I tried something different this time, and I'm not sure that *I* even like the finished product all that much.

If it sucks, if it's corny, well, how many people will even see it? I'll chalk it off as "writing exercise" and forget about it quickly.

Whatever. Forget about my review. The album is great. Buy it.

***

It's not great, but this short video is a testament to the professional in Keith Richards. Be sure to read the description of what was going on.

***

On another note...

Tomorrow is Wing Bowl!!!.

... and I'm going to miss it.

I have an eye doctor's appointment, that I'd scheduled months ago (when Wing Bowl, believe it or not, was not on my mind).

I am very, very bitter.

Anyway, you can see the official odds here, learn more about the competition here, and listen tomorrow morning from 6-10am in my honor (the stream is available on the main page of the 610 WIP site).

I guarantee you, it will be pretty funny. If you go to the same page later in the day, or to the Inquirer's sports page later in the day... results and pictures will be posted.

Because he posted here a month or so ago, for some strange reason, I'm putting my weight behind 75:1 favorite (!) Hungry Hungry Hebrew. Go get 'em, ya fat mensch.

note: After watching your video, you look to be 50 lbs lighter than me. Allow me to formally and publicly apologize for infering that you were a complete and total slob.

***

I don't know how many of you have been following Donovan McNabb's recent series of comments... but my God... the Eagles quarterback has officially jumped the couch.

Much like the incoherent ramblings of everybody's favorite Scientologist/Anti-Psychologist/Nutjob/Sometime-Actor, Donovan is muttering about his own team's support of Terrell Owens, how difficult leadership has been, and... er... the "black on black crime" inflicted against him. I can't even collect the links or stories here (OK, that's a bit of a lie)... but it seems that everytime I've turned on the TV or radio this week, I've heard something new, about how persecuted he is.

Given that much of the talk focuses on Philadelphia and Philadelphia players? I imagine lots of sympathy.

:O

***

Speaking of football... isn't it about time you started putting your money behind the Seahawks?

***

To wash the bad taste out of your mouth regarding yesterday's post-- the one concerning the lawsuit-- I heard about something much, much better last night.

Someone is planning something that, if properly executed, could be fucking hysterical. For even thinking of the idea, let alone beginning to execute... all praise to you.

As usual.

Wednesday, February 01, 2006

... My Dear Xiola

Just thinking about you. Thought you should know.

Shaken, Stirred

I heard something odd today. Turns out that someone I know has been sued for sexual harrassment.

Don't ask me who it is-- I won't say a word-- but it is interesting to me how it shook me, and how it is coloring my view of this person.

Now granted, it's not someone I know all that well... but I'm disappointed nevertheless.

I'd like to think "innocent until proven guilty" and all that. And truth be told, I don't know what the outcome of the suit was. But... my view of this person has changed.

***

Back to more comfortable material.

Looks like Nashville over California. What say you, friends? Take a look at the lineup, and ask yourself-- would you care to join me on a journey south?

I know that Pazz and Jop Champ-win Kanye's probably not gonna be able to join us... but that's OK.

***

Links for Jeff, links for Chris, links for me.

***

And a special bonus link for our friends at the IRS.

***

Got a long newsletter to do tonight-- a co-worker is proofing the feed right now before I enter it in. Feel free to give me a call, and break up my evening.

***

Netflix possessions:

Corpse Bride
Thumbsucker
March of the Penguins

Seems as though all of the A-list stuff was out of stock, huh?

***

godspeed you! black emperor - storm
magnet - the pacemaker
stars - sleep tonight
raconteurs - steady as she goes
rob dickinson - black metallic (live)