Sunday, July 23, 2006

Top Ten Thoughts I Had Immediately After Watching "Clerks II"

10. "Randal" is spelled with only one "l"... who knew?

9. On that note, Randal has put on some serious weight since we last saw him. Jesus, dude, lay off the nosh.

8. Dante looks exactly the same as he did ten years ago, for better or worse, and he takes... wow. He just takes a lot of crap for two hours.

7. They sure are having a lot of serious conversations, aren't they? Where'd all the jokes go?

6. Whoever that "Elias" guy is... he needs to come back for Clerks III. Affleck doesn't. Neither, with apologies, does Mrs. Smith.

5. Whatever happened to the title/subtitle The Passion of the Clerks? Just wonderin'.

4. The phrase "porch monkey" did not need to come up in every other scene... less because it was offensive (despite the, er, "debate"), and more because there was simply not enough of a comic payoff, given all the repetition.

3. Making fun of The Lord of the Rings and Transformers, however, is perfectably acceptable, and funny as shit.

2. Only thing funnier? Jay dancing to that Silence of the Lambs song. Unbelievable-- I think I spat out a kidney or two during these scenes.

1. Rosario Dawson is the hottest woman on the planet... when dancing atop a Mooby's to the Jackson 5.

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