Thursday, August 31, 2006

Oh My God, It's A

... link dump!

It's been awhile, but here's some of the non-K-Fed-related weirdness I've wanted to share as of late.

1) First of all, and you knew this already, but... your band name sucks.

2) I typically don't post links to trailers for music DVDs, but this one promises to be good. My Morning Jacket is releasing a 2CD live album called "Okoknokos" in a few weeks, and... well, they're really, really good.

3) Assuming that you still like Pearl Jam, as I do, this site is for you.

4) Just... click here. To say more would be to spoil the life lessons that lay behind the link.

5) Fun with the information superhighway... does it ever stop? If you go to this site, you can show your friends your Tally Hall at Madison Square Garden tickets! Awesome!

6) "Mommy? Why is Spicoli screaming at me?"

7) New layout at one of my favorite sites, The Jaker.

8) Even more astonishing, Andy has brought his site back from the dead. He even included a picture of his new daughter, Mackenzie Jordan!

9) This guy deserved better... so he patted himself on the back.

10) The name of this link spoils the clip, but it's worth the 10-second watch, anyway.

11) Lots of people were talking about this earlier this week: Conan's opening bit from the Emmy's. Gotta love Conan.

12) I'm getting tired of all these links. You?

13) Check out the chicken noodle soup dance, over at Aziz's site. I guarantee you'll like this one.

14) Did you know that Little Richard was still alive? And still, uh, out there?

15) One of the best singles from one of the best bands. I'd never seen this before... shame, really, as it's pretty great and (yawn) takes me back to 'ol Blighty, or something like that.

16) And from that to one of the worst videos of all time. Number two on that list, if I'm not mistaken (name #1 and I'll buy you a cookie): here's Eddie Murphy and Michael Jackson's video for "Whatzupwitu".

Wednesday, August 30, 2006

Knocking on Some Serious Wood

I'm baaaaacckk...

Thanks go to Frank from Comcast. Technician #187. Ask for him by number. I don't know if he did anything in particular, or whether it was dumb luck, but... apparently I'm not the only one who's had this problem as of late.

Many, many people in the VA/DC/MD area have been having problems. For the past several months. Just like me.

Who knows. Who cares. It's up.

So again-- let us pray.

Bullets

What's been going on?

* My arms are still hurting from Sunday's rock climbing. I wonder what this says about me. Perhaps that I need to work my arms more than once a year?

* I met up with old co-worker Ary yesterday, and immediately wondered why I don't try to see him more often. Apart from the fact that he's Kurdish... he's a really great guy. I keed, I keed. I love the Kurds.

* My co-worker brought in a mix CD for me yesterday, for no apparent reason... and it's surprisingly fantastic. It kicks off with "The Bleeding Heart Show," has some Sufjan and some I'm From Barcelona mixed in, and only proceeds to get better from there. Hooray for new friends with snobtaste!

* Speaking of, as some of you already know, I got a wonderful note from Jason Allen of The Vorstand Circus the other day. Seems he found my Harmonium review, and more than approved of it. Check out the review yourself (Jason's comment is at the bottom), and see why I was beaming a bit more than usual when I read it. And of course, check out Jason's album. It's terrific.

* Without Steve in the office (he's on vacation all week)... I'm gaining a greater appreciation for Steve being in the office. Not that I didn't appreciate him before, but... let's just say it's been a busy week for me. A good week, but a busy week.

* Sadly, though, Jill pulled out of Labor Day weekend. Guess she had better things to do.

* Ah, well. I'll still get to go to Baltimore, for Paul's 80th birthday party. That should be swell.

* Meanwhile, Mom and Dad are cruising, yet again, this time in and around Venice. If you're reading this, guys, stop reading this and get back outside, for God's sake. And for the love of God, take more pictures!

* While we were sleeping through the preseason, the Eagles shockingly gave up a pile of dirt and some magic beans to get a legit #1 wideout. Are you kidding me? Hearing that was like coming down the stairs on Christmas morning. Way to go, Birds... you just gave yourself an extra win or two this year.

* Congrats to Jeff on closing on his new place today. Signed, sealed, delivered... that underwhelming place is all yours, man!

* One last note-- the Comcast technician is coming by tonight. With any luck, he'll be able to solve my connectivity problems. I have serious doubts, however. Let's hope I don't have to make any threats upon his person.

Monday, August 28, 2006

The More You Ignore Me, the Closer I Get

…you’re wasting your time.

***

Well, I’m still not here.

Meaning, I’m writing this entry on my own computer, on Sunday night, saving it, bringing the disc in to work, and posting this crap with the help of a computer that has (ohmygod, perish the thought) functioning internet capability.

And you question my commitment to this blog.

How dare you, sir!?!

***

Lots has been going on as of late, but I suppose the most “important” info relates to my internet connection, or lack thereof. As you can tell, I’m still handicapped (sorry, I’m actually “handicapable”) by a problem no one seems to be able to diagnose.

I had Geeks on Call come by the other night, as I’d mentioned, and the long and the short of it is/was that they would have charged me an arm and a leg to stay long enough to figure things out. It could have been hours, and hundreds and hundreds of dollars. The guy who came by had no idea how to do anything other than state the obvious, which is that the connection was down for some strange reason. On top of this, he spoke a mile a minute, mostly in technobabble, and I… having already dealt with this for several months, now, had neither the time nor the proverbial patience for his nonsense.

Thankfully, he *did* give me the choice of paying through the nose— he let me know what could have been coming, were he to stay, and he gave me the option of avoiding it.

I thanked him, graciously, for that knowledge… and then I kicked him right the hell out of my apartment.

This was followed by an hour-plus exchange with a Comcast representative during my lunch hour at work, the next day, where I may or may not have fired the following salvo in mid-rant (believe it or not, I had called to make an appointment with a Comcast technician, and somehow found myself talking to someone based in Canada):

“I swear to God, I will take a torch to Comcast’s headquarters, and light the building on fire, whether you are in there or not, if you do not tell me what I need to know, immediately.”

Something like that.

Hypothetically spoken, of course. I’d never actually say such a thing.

***

So, hopefully, a senior Comcast technician is coming by Wednesday night. If he is not able to assist me, however, I may take a hostage. I’m not sure.

Have any of you taken hostages before? I don’t know what the rules are on such a thing-- how to do it properly and efficiently, what to demand… you know. So, your input would be greatly appreciated.

***

At the same time that my computer is causing woes, my diet has gone in the shitter as well, if only temporarily. I gained back a few of the pounds I’d lost, probably because I've been comforting myself with the “I’m not going to starve myself” mantra, which has generally been followed by fast food and/or sausage consumption.

So. No more excuses. We start anew.

And my target weight? Wanna know what it is???

120 pounds.

There. I said it. 120 pounds. Sure, I know what you’re thinking— I’ve got quite a-ways to go, but you know what they say about the journey of a thousand miles, or something.

Anyway. Say hello to the newest devotee of the starvation diet. Should you hear my stomach growling from your domicile… ignore it. Otherwise, it will only keep bothering you, pestering you for bonbons.

***

With a whole lot of Borders Bucks, I bought the Mr. Show box set this weekend.

I’d been meaning to get it for a long time, even having seen all the eps and extras long ago.

Having watched the first disc already… it might rank as the purchase of the year. So, so very good. If you missed it, please let me know… I promise never to shut up about it.

***

Also making me surprisingly happy was Steve Coogan in the Netflixed Tristram Shandy: A Cock and Bull Story.

I’ve never read the book (apparently, it was #8 on The Observer’s top 100 books of all time (movie joke alert)), but the movie was about as fantastically post-modern, if not beyond such, as is conceivable. Coogan is quickly becoming one of my favorite actors, if not due to his talent, then due to his choice of material. If you never saw him in 24 Hour Party People… it’s completely and totally your loss.

Both movies are worth a rental, even if you have no idea what to expect.

Especially so, come to think of it.

If nothing else, you’ll learn that “Tristram” has two “r’s,” and not one, as I’d always thought.

Some English major I was, huh?

***

On another note: I’m exhausted.

I had my “Introduction to Rock Climbing” course today. I’d invited Teso to come along, but of course he had more important things to do, like… I dunno… decoupage.

And the verdict (on the rock climbing) is…?

I enjoyed myself… but I might not be doing it again anytime soon. First off, I am not a natural born knot-tier or harness-wearer, both notable prerequisites for becoming a successful rock climber. While I learned to tie the knots over time, my groin is still a mite upset with me concerning the harness thing.

Secondly… the sport seems to require two people, by and large— one to climb, and one to hold the rope (and, of course, one to change the light bulb). And I don’t know that many people who’d be willing to put up with someone (i.e., me) who’d be interested in rock climbing for less than 45 minutes at a time.

Which brings me to my last point. My hands. Rope burn. My shoulders. Muscle burn. My biceps. Er, more muscle burn.

See, it kinda hurts to rock climb. Presumably it hurts less as you learn what the hell you’re doing. But it also leaves you winded. Climbing 20 feet or so in the air, when there’s never a grabholdythingie where you need one… you realize you’re breathing pretty heavy. And then the fear sets in. And then…

You get my point. I might try it again, were someone to suggest it. But it was considerably more difficult than I’d guessed it would be. And, not having the stamina… my body fully supports my decision.

***

Tell me you watched the golf this afternoon.

It was absolutely remarkable, watching Tiger try desperately to give his tremendous mid-fourth round comeback away (he failed to do so—sucks being so great that you can’t even botch things on your worst day), in playoff holes, hitting a beautiful iron in the middle of a torrential downpour… I mean, non-major golf doesn’t get much more interesting.

Even more interesting than that, though? I’d never noticed before, but Yanni composed the PGA Golf theme music for CBS!

Is there anything that guy can’t do?

***

Major, major, MAJOR congratulations go to Andy, Laura and Peyton Hunt, on the birth of new daughter Mackenzie Jordan.

I’m just so happy for you guys.

And Coach Paterno sends his congratulations as well, I’m sure.

***

To Chris and Noel, and to Mom and Dad—have safe and happy vacations. I’m looking forward to seeing all of you again very soon.

Thursday, August 24, 2006

No Pics, No Links, NO DICE

First things first. My internet connection is still down, but tonight I have someone from Geeks on Call coming by.

Why? Comcast couldn’t help me, and the Dell staff swore up and down that it wasn’t their problem (after keeping me on hold for an hour-and-a-half).

So, maybe, I can find a friend in Geeks.

Oh, God.

***

You know that I haven’t even listened to the new Ricky Gervais podcast, yet?

Or even the new Jarvis Cocker podcast?

I mean, I’m dying, here!

***

Some of you already know about yesterday’s big announcement: LEGALSOURCE is moving in a few months.

That’s right— just try to contain your excitement!

Anyway, we’re moving from Metro Center to Farragut West/North, or thereabouts, which makes my short commute even shorter. Having not seen the new space yet, I’m slightly apprehensive, even though my co-workers who’ve seen it (I was doing interviews when the tour was offered) have raved about it.

Only a few months left in the old stomping grounds. Seems like I’ve been here forever. ;)

***

Other big news— I’m getting my wisdom teeth pulled in three weeks.

That’s… well, that’s it, really. Nothing much more to say about that. Although yesterday, I did get a panoramic x-ray taken.

(cue family laughter here)

***

How did last night’s date go?

It seemed to go really well… but I wonder if I caught her at too busy a stage of her life. We’ll see if this one goes anywhere.

I’d like to make it work… or, at least, give it a whirl.

***

I’m only just getting to it now, but “Game of Shadows” is an extraordinary read.

If you believe what’s in the pages, then Victor Conte and Barry Bonds… are just horrendous human beings.

Which is nothing we haven’t heard before, but… Jesus.

***

Finally, I agreed to write up The Crane Wife for Harmonium. I don’t know when it will see the light of day, but…

I HAVE AN OPINION!

(shocker)

***

For the first time in a few weeks, I have little to nothing going on over the weekend. So, if you have any suggestions… I’m open.

Please don’t make me clean my apartment.

Tuesday, August 22, 2006

Where I Be

At work... so I have to keep it short.

My connection is down at home. Yet again. So, until I get that resolved, posts might be few and far between. Sorry about that.

(let us pray)

Sunday, August 20, 2006

Before I Go to Bed...

From ProFootballTalk.com:


DAVIS HEADING TO PHILLY

A team source tells us that running back Stephen Davis will visit with the Eagles on Monday, possibly as a precursor to signing a free-agent deal.

Davis passed a physical last week with Dr. James Andrews of Birmingham, Alabama. A letter was then sent to every team explaining that Davis is healthy and available.

The Eagles currently have injury issues at the tailback position. Brian Westbrook has a bad foot. Correll Buckhalter is working his way back from two lost seasons; he managed a 48-yard run on Thursday night against the Ravens.

Other teams that could be interested in Davis include the Redskins. Davis was drafted by Washington in 1996 and spent seven seasons in D.C. Coach Steve Spurrier gave up on him after the 2002 season, but Davis then had his best season ever in 2003 with the Panthers, as Carolina landed in the Super Bowl. Davis was injured for most of the 2004 season, and had 12 touchdowns in 13 games before landing in IR in 2005.

Another possible scenario would be for Davis to sign with a new team after the first week of the regular season, since if he is on any team's roster for the opening weekend his entire salary would be fully guaranteed.

Salvage

You'll be happy to know that my weekend with Shane... was a complete blast.

I'm back. Happy once again. Memories of last week have been properly disposed of.

But... I must mention that I almost didn't get to see Shane at all. The traffic from DC to Jersey (or, more specifically, from Baltimore to Camden) was almost unbearably horrible. My drive up-- which should have taken 2 1/2 hours-- took more than twice that. Some of the worst traffic I've ever been involved with, at least along I-95.

With nothing to eat in the car, nothing to drink... how did I ever manage?

***

After briefly considering turning around and aborting/postponing the trip, the traffic eased up (if only temporarily)... and so yes-- I did, in fact, make it up to see Shane and Dan.

And seeing them was just great... exactly what I needed.

After chilling for a bit at their place, we headed over to Philly for drinks. Basically, we hit four places-- Moshulu, a big 'ol boat with a bar smack in the middle (by Michelle's Hyatt, for those keeping score), and then three (landlocked) places by 2nd and Market Streets.

I'd never been in that area, and so Shane and Dan basically introduced me to an entirely new hood. Apparently, where we were is one of the new "in" places in the city. South Street is years ago, Mannayunk is months ago... we were where all the cool kids go, circa August 2006. Though of course, now that *I* know about it... I'm sure it's already passe.

The best place was called Eulogy, at 2nd and Chestnut. It had a beer menu consisting of more than 300 selections, complete with ratings and explanations and the whole thing. I tried several new drinks there, and each was better than the last.

Anyway-- the whole pace of the day was casual, which was just what I needed, having just come off of the fucking drive from hell, earlier on. My stress level subsided, strangely enough, with each beer I downed.

And the three of us... we took quite a few.

Philadelphia, represent.

Speaking of, I had a cheesesteak to top things off, at a place I'd never been to called Campo's. The sandwich wasn't bad at all. Exceptionally heavy on the Whiz (a good thing), the meat was nice and fresh, and more importantly, the roll was, as well. A solid 9/10.

***

By the time we got back home, Shane plopped on the Coldplay Live DVD. Which would be neither here nor there, except that we watched it on a 50" flat screen, up on the wall of her living room, complete with a full (and ridiculously kickass) speaker setup. I don't think I've ever heard something so great coming out of a TV, Coldplay-related or not.

After that, a few more drinks, some playtime with her dog, and about :20 of Billy Madison... we called it a night.



***

This morning was little more than breakfast, a quick walk of the dog, and some chatter by the lake behind Shane's house.

It was all very relaxing. I could have sat there all day.

But as I have the Berger curse, I had to get going far sooner than I really needed to. Even in the most relaxing chairs by the water, with my good bud Shane... something inside was yelling at me to leave, presumably along the lines of, oh, I don't know, "what if there's traffic??? Then what are you gonna do, stupid?"

I'm talking to myself.

In a blog.

Jesus.

***

Anyway, it was a great time. So great that I'm gonna show you more pics of my nephew, that Mich was kind enough to supply.







***

So, Snakes on a Plane only made $15 million this weekend, disappointing a lot of predictors who'd expected $25-30 million or more.

Eh, it's nothing to me. It'll make for an interesting case study in a marketing textbook (e.g., even the most successful marketing campaign doesn't guarantee that consumers will buy your product), I guess.

More important is the fact that both Ilise and Jill called me (separately), hysterical at how phenomenal(ly bad) the movie was.

In the best possible way, of course. Both of them may still be laughing, even as you read this.

I still need to see it, I'm thinking. Lord knows I talked about it enough beforehand... so I wouldn't want to cop out, now. It wouldn't be right.

***

Gotta go-- K-Fed's about to perform, or something.

Saturday, August 19, 2006

That's It, That's All, That's All There Is

Fresh.

For you.

I say this because right now starts a new week. It needs to, because last week was a fucking clunker-and-a-half.

You know how the early part of the week went for me; work was stressful, and the one date that did happen was beyond underwhelming.

Well, guess what?

I committed a boner last night that just... oh, man. I'm still so pissed off at myself.

I'd been talking about the Patton Oswalt show for weeks, right? If not longer? Well, guess who entered the wrong date into his calendar, and never bothered to look at the date on the tickets to double-check?

Jeff and I showed up at the State Theater (after an oddly uncomfortable Happy Hour in the conference room at work), only to find... Patton Oswalt's name not on the marquee, a number of Latinos milling about the entranceway, no real crowd.

Seems that a Spanish band of some sort was playing there last night. Patton wasn't due to perform for another 24 hours.

I had tickets for Patton's show on Saturday night. I showed up on Friday.

And because I have plans to visit Shane this weekend in Jersey... I can't even go to this show that I was so looking forward to. I have to eat the money.

Fuck.

If you are interested in the tickets, Teso has them. Since you might not know who Teso is, give me a call on my cell today if you're interested in going... maybe we can get you in to tonight's show for free.

***

And I gained weight this morning, for the first time since I started this nonsense a month-and-a-half ago.

Not much-- just a pound-- but enough to really piss me off.

***

This weekend with Shane had BETTER be good.

I need some relief.

***

This made me shake my head, for about 37 different reasons.

This is far more enjoyable, though... thanks, Dad, for passing it along.

***

Ladies, trust me now... you can thank me later.

***

If I don't happen to speak to you for awhile, Vicki... we're all gonna miss you. Have a safe trip to San Francisco, and a very happy return home!

Friday, August 18, 2006

Apologize, Jon

Question:

Is this one of the best Daily Show moments, ever?

I mean, it's got to rank right up there, right?

***

And is this one of the finer Colbert Report moments, for that matter?

Thursday, August 17, 2006

Sure, They're Nerds, But They're OUR Nerds, Damnit

Some hyperbole for you.

One listen, and it's slotted in as my album of the year.

Already.

***

Seriously.

I forgot how very, very wonderful they are.

***

While you wait to purchase the album, which comes out on October 3, tide yourself over with some geekier-than-geeky footage of our heroes getting their pictures taken in the olde style.

It's enough to make you want to root for them, no?

***

By the way, thanks to those of you who sent me the absolutely fantastic Denis Leary rant from this week's Red Sox game.

The bastards at NESN made YouTube remove the clip, but the geniuses (genii?) at Deadspin have it for you here, in case you missed it.

Several Different Answers to the Same Question

1) I'm home at 8:30, right? What does THAT tell you?

2) So boring. Just... so boring.

3) Boring enough that I left less than ten minutes ago, and couldn't tell you a damned thing we spoke about.

4) Does everyone lie about their profile?

5) Something's gotta break, soon, right???

***

All of this said very tongue in cheek, of course.

Of course.

***

I called Courtland Park today. They changed up a few of the outlets, which might help... but more significantly, they completely removed the ceiling fan/lights at my request.

The place looks much better now, with that off-center monstrosity gone.

That said, I wonder if I might need to purchase a lamp, now.

***

Just got a new (*cough*) album.

Gotta go.

Thanks, Jed. ;)

Broken Play

Last night was just that-- a broken play. The playcall was for a corner route, but the snap was muffed, and I just had to scramble.

See, I originally had plans to take a friend to dinner out in Woodley Park. An hour before I'm ready to leave work, I get a call from her, asking for a raincheck.

This was something I was really looking forward to... and so I called a few people with the clear (and borderline angry) message that I *really* needed a drink... the date falling through was bad enough, but worse, it followed what had already been an immensely frustrating day at work.

So, I was upset.

Somehow, though, we realized that our agency had some tickets up for grabs for the Nationals game. So I wound up at Molly's with her boyfriend Jeremy and another co-worker, Heather, we had a few drinks, and wound up going to RFK (thanks again, LEGALSOURCE).

We were there for maybe four innings, total?

I was in no mood for ball, though I did run into Chris and Noel, who happened to be at the game as well. And it was nice to see them, even if I couldn't really abandon my co-workers for more than a few minutes.

When I got home (feeling a bit unwell for what could have been 87 different reasons), I found a letter from the ex in my mailbox. And even though it contained a check (she owed me some small amount for some small thing, who knows), I couldn't help thinking...

This wasn't how the night was supposed to go.

***

Let's hope tonight goes better, huh?

***

I think my apartment may be broken. Rather, I think it may house a lot of electrical/outlet-related issues.

Rest assured, I've called the building manager/maintenance about these issues before, but I think that they're becoming more pronounced-- in other words, the fixes are not... um... staying fixed. For instance, the hairdryer no longer works in one outlet, even though it does in another. Same with the iPod, when I need to recharge it. One outlet will work, whereas another doesn't.

Something needs to change.

I wonder if this has something to do with my chronic computer/connection issues. If all of this can be tied to faulty wiring, somehow?

Tuesday, August 15, 2006

The New Look

It's two posts after the fact, granted... but guess what? I'm celebrating my 500th post at this site.

That's right-- close to two years worth of "Farting Preacher"-style material, day in and day out. Nothing but quality here, folks.

500.

Jesus. In the words of a great American (movie), "I am one pathetic loser."

So?

Whaddya think of the new digs?

See, Blogger Beta was released this week, and, well, I've decided to give the 'ol Trip (shoot me) a bit of a test drive. You'll notice that the site's colors and layout have changed a good deal; more changes may be in store, depending on how adventurous I feel.

I like the new look, myself, but I would warn you of one small thing... my hotlinks are a bit harder to see, now. As you may have already noticed, the colors are a bit different... they're no longer underlined.

Just a heads-up.

So... let me know your thoughts. Especially since you've been slacking-- I haven't gotten comments from you in awhile, now!

***

On a completely separate note... estrogen.

I bring that up, not because I just watched Mad Hot Ballroom (and I did, and absolutely loved it), but due to the fact that I'm about to regale you with baby pictures.

That's right. Baby pictures.

Check out my nephew, Ryan, in full 700-level-worthy Eagles regalia:



And in the interests of fairness, Rob and Debbie's twins:



Sydney and Alex are the bomb, yo.

If you have any children you'd like me to post... hey! Just let me know! I'll turn this place into a frickin' nursery by week's end!

(nevermind)

***

Hey-- I forgot to point you towards good 'ol Harmonium, where Jed decided to re-post my review of Someone Still Loves You Boris Yeltsin's debut CD, Broom.

Seems some bloggers are picking up on it now, whereas we... we had it last October.

Chew on THAT.

***

Pop quiz, hotshots:

One week from today, what life-altering event will be taking place?

The return of "Don't Talk Shit," more popularly known as The Ricky Gervais Podcast. It's Series 3, bitches-- so be there, or be square. Get thee to iTunes now, to prepare.

Either way, whether you are curious or not, Ricky and Stephen have Karl Pilkington in their life, and they're willing to share him... so take my advice, and take advantage.

***

Hey!

Look who hit New York?



It's Banksy!!!

***

Borat.

Borat.

Borat.

I'll keep posting about the Borat movie until you swear you'll see it with me.

And in case you haven't heard it, yet, dig that subtitle... how awesome is that?

***

I know several of you have heard this already, but... here's some Radiodread anyway, complete with song samples.

***

Shit.

***

This post at Bradley's Almanac is simply too great, even if the Kings felt the need to mix in a Grease cover.

Ah, well. You take the good, you take the bad.

***

Forgot to mention how great The Last Waltz was... but then, you already knew that.


***

beulah - you're only king once
a tribe called quest - electric relaxation
fleetwood mac - you make loving fun
kanye west - the new workout plan
nada surf - all you need is love

Monday, August 14, 2006

The Waiting Is the Hardest Part

Not that much longer now, my fellow English majors and drama queens...

Sunday, August 13, 2006

"GIMME BACK MY SON!"

Sorry.

Even with all this Mel Gibson mularkey, and regardless of whether or not he's anti-Semetic... his famous Howard Dean-like demand to GIMME BACK MY SON! never fails to make me laugh.

And so I include it here. Regardless of whether he hates my kind.

Ahem. On with the leftovers:


1) The best film of the year that you haven't seen, and this is a guarantee, now, is Brick. Film noir, starring the kid from 3rd Rock from the Sun?


You're kidding, right?

Nope-- not at all. Throw Memento, Heathers and The Big Sleep together and you might have Brick.

It's all kind of good. Trust me.


2) Mascots must--MUST-- be held accountable for their actions.


3) Thwack! Boing. Thwack! Boing.


4) Finished watching Season 5 of Curb Your Enthusiasm this weekend, thanks to Netflix. Even though the season wasn't quite as good as years past, the season finale was jaw-droppingly great.


5) Oh, yeah. I bought baskets for my entertainment center today.

They look pretty good. Prett-teh, prett-teh good.


6) Even though Carl Sagan famously treated me like shit (I think all of you know that story), he owns in this clip.

So I forgive him. I guess.


7) You probably missed this. It might not be Pat O'Brien good, but it's still pretty damned entertaining.

God bless the talking heads at ESPN. They have a reputation to uphold, and they do nothing but follow through, again and again.


8) Wish I could have been here this weekend.

I probably would have gone for several bathroom breaks during Costner's set... but still. It's frickin' Iowa. It would have been great.


9) Yes, I know about this.

No, I'm not going to listen to it.


10) Andrew W.K. would have been proud of me this weekend.

"When it's time to party we will party hard, party hard"... indeed, Andrew.

Saturday, August 12, 2006

Fill In the Blanks

Well.

The past several days have been really, really eventful. So much so that, in certain areas... I don't know that I can divulge everything.

Not here, anyway.


1) Despite the fact that I ate like a pig this week (relatively speaking), as well as the fact that I worked out even less than usual due to pain and/or laziness, I lost another __ lbs., bringing my grand total (lost) to date to ___. So far, so good.


2) Even though I paid over $_____ for a cleaning, my new dentist is fast becoming my best friend.

OK... not quite.

But I've had a good bit done to my toofuses as of late, much of which was necessary given how little my dentists have done for me in the past, apparently.

In the next month or so, I'll be spending $_____ more to get my wisdom teeth removed. Which should be great fun.


3) Last night I _____________, which I hadn't done in a very long time.

I was nervous, but pulled through like a champ, thanks to ________ not giving me a hard time about it.

Good times.


4) I'm going out tonight with a whole bunch of co-workers, and meeting up with ______ and ______ beforehand for a little pre-game ceremony.

Things could be awkward. I won't know more than five or six people there, as it's a(nother) going-away party for ________, this time thrown by her non-work friends.

Apparently, there will be plenty of _______ _________ there, so who knows?

Combine that with the possibility of a Teso cameo, and things might not be so bad. In fact, they may be quite good. Who knows?


5) I have plans to see ________ ___________ tomorrow for brunch... it'll be my first time _____________ ____. And there's also the possibility of catching up with _________ ___________, who I met the other night at the ________________ thing.

Please keep your __________ crossed.

Restless, me.

Friday, August 11, 2006

Child Arsonist

I am to Aziz Ansari as Clell Tickle is to Tapes and Tapes.

Watch and learn, or I'll sick Hambone on you.

Wednesday, August 09, 2006

Fogo de Chão

Never again.

Too much.

Can't breathe.

Filet mignon wrapped in bacon is too much goodness for one man to take.

Urreekee Bubbee

Saw the movie last night... and it was funny, if somewhat forgettable.

Maybe it would have been better if I "got" all the NASCAR cameos, if I were an unbelievably humorless racing fan... but regardless, it was pretty much a carbon copy of Anchorman and a few other Ferrell movies.

So-- funny, just not as good as the other works of his ouevre.

This guy, though, stole every scene he was in:



Sorry-- this guy.



Oops. Meant to say this guy... the one on the right:



Who in real life is with this gal, from Wedding Crashers. Just thought you should know.



***

Anybody want to join me for a show in Honolulu?

Tuesday, August 08, 2006

Eats

Last night may have been the only night I'll spend at home this week, as things are "in-a-good-way" busy.

And while I'll write about some things (not about others), one place I am excited about is Fogo de Chão, the Brazilian steakhouse we're going to tomorrow night for Vicki's going-away dinner.

Take a look at this place, would you? Since learning about it... it's been all I've been able to think about.

***


Good to have Chris back in town. I think this means we can see Ricky Bobby now... unless I have other plans. Even at this late stage, I don't know what my deal is for this evening.

Sorry, guys.

***

That said, perhaps the prospect of a Vegas/Grand Canyon trip will make up for it?

***

Kinja is the bestest. Click on the link on the right-hand side, there, to see all the updates to all my linked-sites. It's saving me a great deal of time (and it's probably existed for years... I'm so behind the times).

***

I'm not even going to link to that Paris Hilton story that CNN is giving space to.


This world, huh?

Monday, August 07, 2006

Yawnworthy

This weekend consisted of, in no particular order: recovery, shopping, eating, sleeping, kayaking, tanning, watching some TV, working out, eating some more, and cleaning my place.

And I guess there was a date that I'm still trying to figure out.

So... nothing thrilling, sad to say.

***

Was it me, or did Entourage absolutely suck last night?

***

Yo, Philly!

Join me now and say, BOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!

***

What's in the apartment right now?

From the library:

The Shroud of the Thwacker - Chris Elliott
The Rum Diary - Hunter S. Thompson
Glamorama - Bret Easton Ellis
The Last Waltz (DVD)
Mad Hot Ballroom (DVD)

From Netflix:

Curb Your Enthusiasm (Season 5 Disc 2)
Tristam Shandy: A Cock and Bull Story
either Brick or Inside Man (coming in a day or two)

Saturday, August 05, 2006

The Holy Grail

Thanks to Bill Simmons, per usual, we have this... the closest thing you'll be able to find to Charley Steiner's finest moment.

Ever.

If you saw his breakdown live (and I did), you saw the face of God. There has never been anything funnier.

Ever.

ANYWHERE.


In the meantime, this will have to tide us all over. Thank you, Carl Lewis.

Drunken Post

It's 2am, and I just got back in.

Since Chris was out of town, Jeff and I had drinks this evening. And although tonight should have started much earlier, Jeff had a few things going on... and so I didn't see him until 10pm or thereabouts.

By which time my one-beer buzz (!) had long since dissolved.

Hadn't eaten much of anything all day.

***

Work this week was a bit more stressful than it had been in previous weeks, and so... I was in the mood to drink. Jeff was equally up for it... and so we bar-hopped.

Went to four or five places (I lost count early on), and had at least one drink in each. Part of the confusion stems from the fact that a number of places by me (in Clarendon) had lines out the door... and we weren't that desperate/patient to get in anywhere.

So... we drink, we sing, we tell stories, we "cheers," the whole thing... a good evening... until 1:30 rolls around and we (I) realize we're pretty hungry.

We walk from Ireland's Four Courts to the Wendy's, and wouldn't you know? The restaurant area is closed, but the drive-thru is open.

So we walk over.

Our weight, our calls, our yells... it's not enough to get anyone to take our order.

So we walk over to the Taco Bell next door... and soon realize that we are facing the same problem. A car drives up, and I take it upon myself to knock on the passenger-side window.

The girl rolls down her window, and we explain our situation, offer money, the whole nine yards. As it turns out, she (and her girlfriend, driving) are all too understanding, and willing to take our money and place our order... greatness. Somehow it comes out that the passenger-side girl, Jen, is attending Catholic Law School... and for some reason (maybe something stemming from our conversation), I hand her my business card.

She laughs, and hands me a business card from her purse. As luck would have it, she hands me another LEGALSOURCE business card-- but not my own. As it happens, as luck would have it, she's very close friends with one of my co-workers, Summer. She was one year ahead of Summer at her high school, apparently. And so we laugh a good bit, talk, and then she passes me her cellphone... and I leave a (hopefully not too embarrasing) message for Summer.

Who, upon listening to the message, has to be thinking "what the fuck is going on, here???"

The girls offer us a ride back to our apartment, and... for some reason...

(we say no)

Please don't ask why... but it just seemed odd. We weren't in "pick up random women even if they express interest" mode, I suppose. Not that they expressed interest, but still... they offered, I suppose.

For whatever the reason, we spend a few more minutes talking, because Joe and Jane Taco Bell got the order wrong. So Jen and her friend take their food (or the closest approximation thereto), and we take whatever is leftover, and...

I have the best-tasting bean burrito, ever, on the walk home.

The night was just... so random. It's exactly the type of night you forget easily. Except that I wanted to write about it, because I didn't want to forget about it (or the prospect of a Thanksgiving trip to Vegas and the Grand Canyon)... because Jeff and I had such a great time, mostly celebrating the purchase of his new place. And the fact that he seemed to be doing so much better tonight, overall.

Maybe you had to be there, but... yeah.

Good times.

Friday, August 04, 2006

Not Exactly a Step in the Right Direction

Seen outside the Chinese Theatre in Los Angeles this week:

Thursday, August 03, 2006

The Pull-Out

Shane bumped me. I'll now be staying here this weekend, and going away two weeks from now.

I don't mind, as it's much more convenient for her, as it turns out... but I was really looking forward to going.

***



***

Dan Dooley continues to be funny.

Listen to him ramble on about, well, a peach.

***

You know the rules, right?

***

Glory days.

Wednesday, August 02, 2006

Everything Must Go

Lots going on... but first, a bit of an apology.

See, I've settled into a bit of a schedule with respect to when I write. I typically sit down at the computer as I'm having my breakfast (cup of coffee and a serving of oatmeal as of late, if you must know). But over the past week or so... I've had a number of busy mornings-- work here, doctor's appointment there, hangovers here and there-- and so I simply haven't written as much as I ordinarily would.

I know you're dying-- DYING!-- to know what's going on in my life, but... I haven't been there for you, I suppose.

I know.

For that, I am truly sorry.

***

Like any of you actually give a shit.

;)

***

So what has been going on over here?

Well, work has continued to go well, even though our marketing gal Vicki is moving back to San Francisco at the end of next week. Which kinda sucks, even though (or perhaps because) I never really got to know her. She seems pretty damned great, and I know it's got some of the elder statesmen in the office all teary-eyed.

Her going-away party (which I think is next Friday night) should be a blast, though... there's some great worlds-colliding potential there. Her friends, co-workers, alcohol... only good can come of this, right?

Am I right???

***

The big news today is legitimately big-- Jeff's offer was accepted. A big, big step towards making that condo his. So hearty congratulations (for the umpteenth time today) to Jeff.

His housing search started and finished pretty quickly, and he's plenty freaked out by that... but the truth is that the place he found is great, it's in absolutely terrific shape, and it's more than funky enough to make him enjoy his time there.

And if he doesn't... I know I will.

Congratulations, broseph.

***

The other big news is that I have been de-fanged.

For the longest time, I had no idea that I was part-werewolf. But a few years back, when I was still living in Atlanta, Abby and I went to a deli in Buckhead. Which is completely off-subject, except for the fact that after I'd placed my order to the guy behind the counter, the dude yelled at me, pointed at my mouf and said

"Dude! You've got fangs!"

Which was more amusing than disturbing, to be honest... but from that point on, I always noticed my incisors as being... outwardly sized and overly pointy.

Well, Chris recommended a new dentist (one closer to my office downtown)... and I visited today. Wouldn't you know that he strapped a belt sander to my face (actually, a small instrument the size of a pencil) and rounded off my canines?

It took less than a minute, he didn't even charge me for it, and best of all...

I am human, once again.

And GORGEOUS.

***

You know how the dating situation goes.

I won't go into it here... but it's another reason why I haven't been writing. I don't feel like sharing that portion of my life electronically... and frankly, it's been taking up a good bit of what's been going on.

That said, who knows which currents or ex-es or whomever knows of this site, you know?

So... things are good, but generally better left untyped. I'm sure you understand, even if for some reason you want the skinny. You can always ask, y'know.

***

I am very excited to see Paul and Ilise tomorrow night... it's been too long, and I have no excuse, as (shame on me) Paul has DJ'ed a few times as of late at Mr. Days in Clarendon.

If it weren't for my 9pm bedtime, I'd go and say hello.

I wish I weren't such an old man. ;)

Anyway... it will be great to catch up.

And then this weekend should be even more of a blast (with all due respect, Ilise), as I drive up to Jersey to see Shane and her husband for the first time in years. It's been WAY too long, and so we'll have a LOT of catching up to do, I'm sure.

I'm guessing that the wine will be flowing, which is a good thing, mos def.

***

What else? Hmmm... I'm struggling to think, though I would mention that if you are a Beasties fan, you should check out Awesome! I Fuckin' Shot That! if you have not already done so. If only for the bonus features alone... they'll give you a few chortles.

And the music's pretty good, too, though they could have cut 5 of their fucking instrumentals out and replaced them with, oh, anything from Paul's Boutique, maybe?

Too much to ask?

***

Oh, yeah. Another thing: my computer's back on the fritz again.

I've had it with this fucking thing.

Back to ye olde typewriter.

***

Something else: I just met someone who dated one of the guys in Phantom Planet.

Which would be a less than interesting point, but for the fact that she knew and was close with ex-drummer Jason Schwartzmann. The two of them used to chat all the time, prior to and presumably during the Rushmore years.

I was two degrees from Max Fischer, dammit!

She said he was a nice guy, too. I'm so glad my image of him didn't have to be thrown in the toilet. Good for him for being a mensch.

***

My building elevator? When it dings, it sounds like the opening note of "No Surprises."

Every day, I get off the elevator to walk back to my apartment (or to leave the building in the morning), and I'm humming Radiohead.

I love my building.

Even if the lobby smells like crack.

***

I highly recommend you go to Defamer and check out several days' worth (literally) of Mel Gibson-related links. So many off-color, bitchy, inappropriate items... it's hard to link to just one.

Oh, yeah... if you go to Pitchfork and videos.antville.org, you can find new videos by Thom Yorke, TV on the Radio and Beck (from his upcoming hip-hop album).

You're going to want to see at least a few of these, guaranteed.

***

Gotta go. This is making me sleepy.

Sorry that this was all text, but for some reason I can't get the pictures to work.

This fucking computer...