Saturday, September 23, 2006

Rosh Hashanah

First off, let me wish all of you a very happy, healthy New Year.

Whether you believe in the Jewish calendar or not, the Jewish tenets or not, the comedic stylings of Jackie Mason or not... please accept my hopes for you, your family and your friends to have a terrific year to come.

And why not accept well-wishes? What, you're too good for them?

You know, your cousin in New York accepts well-wishes, I don't know why you shouldn't... he's such a beautiful boy...

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I suppose that I should tell you what my goals are for 5767:

1) Accessorize. I know, I know... material things are bad. No, no, they're not. Not when you haven't had a legit second date in almost a month. And I think it might have a little to do with the fact that I'm hardly as blinged out, as I could (and rightfully should) be.

So, I might purchase a new grill or two. God would approve.


2) Harmonize. No, I don't mean anything having to do with singing. I want...

I want...

I want to get into synchronized swimming.

There. Secret's out.


3) Unionize. And by unionize, I mean, of course, the opposite of unionization. I'd like to destroy all unions, and all related workers' rights. As a new member of the establishment, I'd like my goal to be one of corporate dominance. And staff, personnel, employee handbooks and such... these all stand in the way of that unique Sam Walton-y ideal.

So from here on out... greed... is good.



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Where was I?

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Oh, you might want to know how last night went. The 80s prom party for Paul. It seemed to be a great success-- Paul didn't know what was coming, and he seemed geniunely thrilled to see so many friends and family there.

Ilise set the whole thing up. She rules.

You should be so lucky to have Ilise in your life.

I had a few prom pictures taken with her, which hopefully will be coming my way shortly. But for the time being, here's a quick shot of me as Jake and/or Elwood Blues, prepping for the evening to come. Not bad, considering I had all of five minutes to throw this on after work before I had to hit the road to Baltimore.


All things considered, it was a very good thing that I didn't go as this guy, as I'd planned to:


This, because most people were not in costume, but rather 80s attire. Lots of vintage prom dresses and teased hair for the women, lots of tacky Members Only-style garb on the gents. If I stood out, it was only slightly, only slightly less than I used to.

(sorry)

By the way, speaking of Halloween, sort of, here's something that's scarrrrry, keeeds!!!

Anyway, sorry about that.

I bailed on the festivities a bit early, as is my wont, as I have services this morning, and was completely sent all day yesterday... so just my luck that upon leaving, I was forced to sit in almost two hours' worth of traffic.

So not fun. I won't even tell you what time I got home.

Just... miserable. Thank God for the iPod.

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What does it mean when one spends months trying to lose weight, loses a good bit, plateaus, and then starts gaining it back?

Then said person, as a direct result, gives up the program, gets lazy, fails to exercise, eats like shit for the next month, only to weigh themselves one Rosh Hashanah morning to find that he is lighter than he ever was during the weight loss stage?

Happy accidents. Gotta love 'em.

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This site does not look terribly unlike my own.

The fact that I find this amusing makes me incredibly, impossibly lame.

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Finally, vintage curse words from David Hasselhoff. Since he is the Hoff, he is permitted to say and do as he pleases. Not unlike this guy.

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